Career Adjustment
by KarrotsareGoodforTheI's
Summary: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice. "I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat. xXwarnings insideXx
1. Chapter 1

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**Hello, this story was an idea I'd been toying with for awhile and finally decided to write it! Just a heads up, if yaoi bothers you then this story is not for you. If minor het (and I mean minor) bothers you then please don't read. With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this silly fic. I also love reader feedback and its a big encouragement.**

* * *

Rufus was at his indoor golf course, dressed up in his best golf wear. The artificial grass looked gorgeous, stretched green and luscious across an acre of space. He had his shot lined up. He inhaled and then exhaled, trying to calm his mind and focus on the shot.

Tseng stood a few feet behind him, arms crossed with a bored look on his face. Watching his boss play golf was just about as dull as it got. He yawned and immediately regretted it.

Rufus shot him a fierce glare. "Hey Tseng, Shut up!"

Tseng nodded in apology. Rufus turned his attention back to his game and lined his club up with the ball. He breathed again before he lifted his iron, ready to take a swing when the caddy sneezed.

"Hey! Stop sneezing when I'm trying to make a shot!" the blond screeched.

"Sorry, Sir," the boy said. Tseng frowned at the kid. He was new, but he'd soon learn.

"Shut up goddamnit!" Rufus spat.

The boy's lips closed tightly shut and he lowered his head. Tseng felt sorry for the kid. No one should have to deal with Rufus when he was having a bad golf day.

Once again, he readied his shot and made to swing, but this time a loud explosion erupted and shook the entire ground. The boy next to him gasped and the Turk grabbed his gun. He rushed toward Rufus, who was spewing every foul word that had ever been written or thought of. Tseng grabbed Rufus and pulled him down into a crouching position on the ground. The boy rushed over to them, wanting to feel somewhat safe. Tseng's radio cracked to life within seconds after the blast.

"Ay, you alright bossman?" Reno's voice came crackling through.

"Rufus and I are fine," he responded.

"Fine?" Rufus scowled behind him. "I missed my shot!"

Tseng rolled his eyes.

"We are fine. What's going on?"

As soon as the words had left his mouth, he saw a dark mist spewing from the vents two hundred feet above him. All the vents started releasing the mist and he swore. He grabbed Rufus and motioned for the caddy to follow.

"We need to get out of here," Tseng said.

"Damn, and that was totally going to be my best shot!" Rufus grumbled.

Tseng ignored him and led them to the staircase. The blond recoiled.

"The stairs Tseng! Why the stairs! We're on the 50th floor," he complained.

"Its standard procedure to not use machinery during an emergency," he informed.

"Stop talking like a robot!"

Tseng sighed. He figured Rufus wasn't going to walk so he picked the brat up, caring him bridal style as he rushed down the stairs, the boy trailing behind. Fifty flights wasn't easy, but they made it within a few minutes. When he got to the door of the first floor, he looked through the window of the door and saw nothing but darkness. The entire floor was covered in the mist. He'd have to find another way out.

He knew of a secret escape route. The oddly colored cement on the floor was actually an indication of a tunnel. He shifted the cement block to reveal the hidden entrance.

"Um, I have to go down there?" Rufus asked, looking disgusted.

"Yes," Tseng answered evenly. The blond scowled as he climbed down the ladder after Tseng, the boy following behind him. Once Tseng touched the ground, he reached up to help Rufus and the caddy down.

"It smells like an underground brothel full of unwashed, infected cat whores," the blond stated. Though Tseng thought the description vulgar, he was right. It smelled horribly wretched. The caddy had to cover his mouth to keep the bile from coming up.

"This way," Tseng said. They walked down the moist, smelly corridor while pinching their noses.

"This place is wet and disgusting, like the girls at the Honey Bee Inn," Rufus commented. Tseng shook his head. Why was his boss so crude? He may have been eighteen and the vice president of the largest company in the world, but that was no excuse for his uncouth mouth.

Tseng spotted the exit and rushed up ahead to inspect it. He climbed up the sticky, metal ladder, suddenly very glad he had his gloves on. The latch above required a few turns and he pushed it open. As if opening Pandora's box, mass screams assaulted his ears. He poked his head out to see people running from the building in masse. His dark eyes scanned the area to see if he could spot his unit. He didn't see them, but he did find General Sephiroth rather easily. He was the only one walking leisurely in a mass of running, terrified people.

"General, Sir!" he called out, and Sephiroth's enhanced ears picked up the sound. He halted and looked in the direction he heard his name. Tseng waved a hand at the man and the General walked briskly over to him. It was quite an interesting sight to see the man walking against the crowd, yet he still managed to make his way through. People even in their fear instinctually formed a bubble around him, avoiding being in his path.

"Tseng," he said as he extended his hand to the Turk. Tseng felt bad giving him a sticky hand, but Sephiroth didn't seem to mind. Once he was out, he helped Rufus and the boy up too.

"Damn it feels good to inhale this toxic air," Rufus jested.

"Thank you for your assistance," Tseng said, bowing slightly. Sephiroth gave a slight smirk.

"See, even Sephiroth thinks you sound like a robot," the blond vice president said amused. His sharp blue eyes fixed on the General and he bit his lip, clearly liking the sight. Tseng shook his head and pulled out his two way receiver.

"Is the president safe?" he asked, hoping one of his Turks would answer.

"Um," that was Reno's voice, "Yeah?"

"You do not sound sure," he said, picking up on Reno's tone.

"Well, we got him and he's alive, but…"

"But what?"

"Um, he's like… black yo. Like solid black. He looks like a rock or something."

As Tseng tried to rationalize what Reno had said, Rufus snatched the receiver out of his hands.

"What do you mean he's like a rock? He's dead!" the young VP shouted.

"Yo, man. Ease up on the mic. Damn that hurt."

"Reno you dumbass just tell me what's going on!"

"Stop yelling yo! I said he was alive he jus' don't look right."

Tseng grabbed the receiver from Rufus and the youth pouted.

"Reno, where are you now?" the Turk asked.

"We're in a van. Headin' to the hospital."

"Which Turks are with you?"

"I got all tits in here boss, umph!" The red head grunted, no doubt one of the female Turks had punched him.

"Refrain from such speech, Reno. Do you know anything about Heidegger, Scarlet or Reeve?"

"Or Genesis and Angeal?" Sephiroth suddenly spoke up. His voice and expression remained neutral and Tseng could not read him.

"Fat ass is here with me," he said, and an offended "Hey!" sounded in the background from Heidegger. "I saw scarlet leave with her horde of female engineers and Reeve left earlier today. Lucky son of a -."

"Reno," Tseng interrupted. "What about Genesis and Angeal?"

"Dunno about them. Sorry yo."

"Thanks for the update. I'll speak with you later."

Tseng clipped the device to his pocket and turned his attention to the General.

"Perhaps they have already made it out?"

They all looked up at the building that was becoming engulfed in the black mist, floor by floor.

"What is that shit?" Rufus asked.

"I do not know."

A loud, harsh cough got their attention as professor Hojo and Dr. Hollander stumbled out of the mist. It was then that Tseng knew what Reno had meant by his description. Professor Hojo was leaning heavily on Hollander; his body was almost solid black, save for some splotches on his hands. Tseng rushed to his side, and though he expected Sephiroth to help, the man just stared blankly at Hojo.

"Eww, that's gross," Rufus said, taking a step back away from the approaching men.

"What happened?" the Turk asked.

Hojo smirked, revealing black teeth. He shrugged his heavy shoulders and chuckled darkly before he managed to get out one raspy sound.

"Oops."

* * *

After Tseng had called for an ambulance for Hojo, Sephiroth departed when the Turk, Hollander and Rufus rode in the ambulance. The caddy boy was left behind and Sephiroth told him to go home. When the boy had told him he lived in the tower dorms, Sephiroth mentally swore at the sudden realization.

_Shit, I live there too…_

He didn't have a choice but to let the boy follow him. He could practically feel the boy's nerves as he walked behind Sephiroth. The General knew he was pretty imposing and he hoped he wasn't scaring the boy too much.

"Sephiroth baby!" he heard a familiar voice shriek. He frowned as he saw his red haired companion bounding over to him, with arms wide open.

"My love!" the redhead said as he tried to pounce. Sephiroth socked him when he was in range and the red General fell to the ground, very dramatically.

"You ass hole! I was just happy to see you were ok!" Genesis scowled, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Son of a whore that hurt!"

"Where is Angeal?" he asked. Genesis smirked as he stood up; a slight chuckle left his lips.

"He's with your heart! Because obviously you care about him more than me!"

Sephiroth offered a small grin of his own. "You got that right." He teased.

Having gathered his bearings, Genesis flipped his hair and waltzed over to the silver General. He noticed the boy standing behind the man and smiled.

"Your boy toy of the night?" He asked sarcastically.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes at Genesis' lack of tack. He could see why he and Rufus got along so well. They had no discretion, and seemed to like shocking people with their outrageousness. Oddly enough, Genesis hated Reno, even though Reno could be just as ill-mannered.

"He's a cadet you idiot."

The boy shuffled awkwardly and looked at his feet. Genesis loved to mess with the shy ones, and placed his gloved fingers underneath the boy's chin, lifting it slightly. The boy's stunning blue eyes widened in anxiety.

"You wanna get sandwiched between Sephiroth and I? I assure you…"

The red head was suddenly yanked back by the collar of his jacket.

"Stop it," he scolded and Genesis shrugged his arms. Where the hell was Angeal?

The boy blushed madly and Sephiroth thought that the youth was attractive for his age. It then donned on him that there were probably other cadets as well that were confused and just as scared.

"Come on Genesis," he said, releasing the red General's coat. "Let's go round up lost cadets."

"Fine," Genesis said. "Let's go boy!"

"Cloud."

"What?"

"My name is Cloud." The blond informed.

"Well Cloud, how would you like to be sandwiched…"

The silver General had slapped him in the back of the head this time. He walked forward and the boy followed, while Genesis trailed behind them scowling.

* * *

At the hospital, Rufus had rushed to his dad's side. The doctors had stabilized him and he now lay in bed, looking like an obsidian statue. Tseng was actually surprised to see Rufus sitting by his dad's side, his bright blue eyes scanning over his father's form. Maybe Rufus did care about his father.

"He looks like dog shit that's been baked in the sun," the blond said, bringing a sigh to Tseng's lips at his words. Of course Rufus didn't care about his father.

"Hey, die already so I can have your company," the youth said plainly.

His father groaned and Tseng moved to his side. Rufus leaned in closer as well.

"He wakin' up?" Reno asked, standing in the corner.

Tseng nodded. His eyes should have been blue but they were both met with solid black irises. The man wheezed and turned his head to Rufus.

"Come closer son," he said, voice sounding raspy.

Rufus did. "What is it?"

The older Shinra suddenly coughed and reached up to grasp his son's white collared shirt. His eyes widened and he gripped Rufus' shirt tighter, pulling him closer before yelling.

"You're not getting my company yet you little shit! I'm not dying tonight! Hahahahaha!"

Rufus scowled and slapped the man's hand away from him. He growled and stormed out of the room. Reno was laughing his ass off, holding his stomach. Tseng frowned and signaled for the red head to follow the blond. He left still laughing and Tseng shook his head.

"Tseng," the man below called out.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Rufus is in charge until I…until I…"

The man passed back out and Tseng knew he would not awaken for awhile. Apparently he had been on the borders of conscious when he heard Rufus speak and had used the last of his strength to tell him that. Tseng left the room in search of Rufus after the doctor informed him of the President's condition. There were people everywhere in the hectic hospital. A lot more patients than doctors or nurses.

He found Rufus cussing out Reno, most likely because he was laughing still.

"Your dad got you good! Oh shit that was funny!" the red head said.

"Enough, Reno," Tseng said sharply before Rufus could retort.

"Ah come on boss, I was just messing with him. Right little Ruffy!"

"Shut up Reno, or I'll…"

"You'll what? You don't control the Turks! No one controls us!"

Tseng watched, not amused as his second in command stood up on a nearby bench with his hands on his hips.

"I have no master! I am my own man. The Turks…"

"Are now under Rufus' control," Tseng interjected. Rufus and Reno shot him a surprised looks.

"What?" they both said in unison.

"The President has slipped into a coma, which means Rufus is in charge while he is incapacitated."

Rufus smirked at the red haired Turk whose face turned somber.

"Ahh, fuck," Reno said.

Rufus smirked as he pushed Reno off the bench and took his place.

"Tseng, figure out how this happened and keep me posted. Also, schedule a meeting with my executives tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir."

The blond then turned to Reno pointed down at him.

"Call Reeve and tell him he's in charge of displacement. You will stay with me and assist me in whatever I ask."

"God damn it," the Turk whined.

Rufus just smirked, bright eyes sparkling with purpose and mischief.

* * *

**Well I hope you've enjoyed! **

**I can't for you guys to see what's in the profession box. **

**If you have any jobs you wanna see, drop a review. They might already be in there...hehe**

**Thanks again!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

* * *

The cadets had all been placed in a nearby hotel for the time being. Cloud's roommate hadn't returned to the hotel room since they were given their room assignment. He didn't mind, it wasn't like they were friends.

He'd gone to bed early; the trials of the day had been tiring. According to his commanding officer, training was on hiatus for the time being. The blond was glad for the break. Their training had been getting more intense and it was hard for him to keep up. Maybe a break was all he would need.

The sound of his PHS ringing woke him up at six in the morning. He yawned and grabbed the device off the nightstand. The blond rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he place the phone to his ear.

"M'ello?" he grumbled.

"Cadet Strife," the deep, smooth voice said. Cloud scratched his head. The voice sounded familiar.

"Yes?" he responded.

"This is Commander Tseng. Rufus requires your assistance as his caddy this morning. He would like for me to inform you that just because you are not in class, you still have a job."

Cloud frowned. He had taken the job because he needed a little bit more money to send to his mother. She was having financial troubles and even a little bit helped. He was starting to regret taking this job over being a dishwasher in the cafeteria.

"Yes, Sir," he said, begrudgingly.

"A car will be out in front to pick you up in half an hour. Please be ready."

The called ended and Cloud sighed. Even on break he still had to work.

It didn't take him long to get showered, and dressed. He didn't much of a selection considering his clothes had been in his dorm in the tower. He had been given a change of clothes yesterday when they were assigning rooms. Everyone had been given a new uniform, even though the one they gave him was a bit too big.

He stood outside thirty minutes later, munching on an apple he'd swiped from the front desk. A black sedan pulled up and the driver stepped out.

"Are you Cloud?" the driver asked.

"Yeah," the blond said as he tossed the apple. The driver nodded and Cloud hopped into the back seat. It was nice and comfortable. They passed the Shinra tower and he glanced out the tinted window. The tower could barely be seen, the thick, black mist had engulfed the building.

His destination was a bit farther than he thought it would be, but he was surprised when he arrived there. It was a huge hotel, and a lot fancier than the one they put the cadets in.

He saw Tseng presumably waiting for him with the bag of golf clubs.

"Hi," he said. Tseng handed him the bag and gestured for him to follow.

Cloud slung the bag over his shoulder and followed after the man. The inside of the place was quite beautiful. It made the nicest inn in Nibelheim look like a shack. Tseng led him to the indoor golf course where Rufus was waiting.

"What took you so long!" he yelled, though Cloud didn't know if it was directed at him or Tseng.

"The boy had to be brought here, Sir. Remember you insisted that Cl-."

"Yeah I know what I said Turk!" Rufus interjected. He then turned to Cloud and snapped his fingers.

"Come on jail bait let's get started."

Cloud blushed at the nick name, but followed Rufus onto the field.

"Don't forget Sir, there's a meeting in one hour," Tseng informed.

Rufus waved him off and motioned for Cloud to set up his tee. The boy set the bag down and grabbed what he needed. He bent over and placed the tee. In the corner of his eye, he could see the vice president staring at his ass. Pervert.

Rufus smirked as the youth went back to his position beside Tseng. Cloud knew to be quiet this time; he didn't want to be yelled at again. Rufus may have only been a few years older, but the man's temper terrified him.

* * *

"The meeting is in five minutes, Sir," Tseng said.

Rufus scowled. He only had to tap the ball a few feet to get it into the hole.

"The meeting starts when I'm sitting in the fucking big chair!" he bit out. "Now shut up!

He gently tapped the ball and it didn't go in.

"Damn it! This is all your fault Tseng!"

"But, Sir?"

"Shut up! The meeting starts soon. I don't want to be late."

They were late by twenty minutes.

"Well I had to change my clothes!" he snapped at the Turk.

"I understand that Sir, but people are waiting for you," Tseng said evenly.

Cloud moved to sit in a chair outside the conference room. He knew there was no way a nobody like him was allowed in. The blond didn't even think twice about staying out.

"Oh no, dear," Rufus smirked, grabbing Cloud by the arm.

"Um, Sir?" the boy questioned.

"You'll be coming in with us," he said, a hint of mischievousness in his tone.

"Rufus, Sir, the boy cannot…"

"Shut up Tseng!" he retorted, and then turned to Cloud. "Come with me."

He could tell Tseng wanted to object but he didn't protest more on the matter. Tseng opened the door for him and he winked at the Turk. Rufus sat at the head of the table and gestured for Cloud to sit beside him.

The cadet was overwhelmed by situation. He slowly made his way to his seat, feeling all eyes on him.

Rufus watched as the boy squirmed under the questioning glares of all the executives in the room. The President scanned over the members in the room.

The SOLDIER's consisted of Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal. Besides Tseng, the Turk's Reno and Rude were in attendance. Reeve, Scarlet and Heidegger were there as well.

"Alright everyone, let's get started," Rufus said.

"Who's the hot blond?" Reno called out. Rude pinched his arm.

Rufus frowned at the outburst.

"He's my caddy," he informed. "But, the reason I've called you here today is…"

"Is he single?" Reno interrupted again, getting a couple laughs and making Cloud blush.

"Shut up you god damned ginger!" Rufus yelled.

Reno stood up and pointed at the man. "I resent that!"

"Sit down, Reno," Tseng ordered.

The red head did as was told but kept his fierce angry gaze on the President.

"Now that I can continue, I'd like to go over a few things. We weren't able to get much from Hojo before he passed out, but he warned us not to go into Shinra tower. Since you all have no place to work now, you're basically useless to me."

Genesis made a sound of disgust under his teeth.

"Objection!" the SOLDIER said, slamming his hand against the table.

"This isn't a courtroom, Genesis," Sephiroth informed.

"How dare you call me, Genesis Rhapsodos, useless!"

"Please, be silent," Tseng asked. Genesis grew red and was about to retort when Angeal covered his mouth.

"Continue," he said calmly.

Rufus then stood up from his chair and smirked, the intensity of it was making a few uncomfortable.

"So, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he paused to run his fingers through his blond locks, "You're all fired."

There a heavy silence and Rufus enjoyed watching their expressions go from blank to confusion to shock, all within a matter of seconds.

"You're firing me!" Genesis screamed.

"He fired all of us," Angeal added, being considerate.

"No fuck that! He fired me! Me!" he said, sounding personally offended.

"Yeah man! What the fuck!" Reno yelled.

"Sir," Tseng said calmly. "Is this a…temporary…"

"Yes and no," Rufus said. "But seriously, you all guys really are fired."

After that, everyone started talking at once, minus Rude.

"But…But!" Reeve tried to get out.

"That's so fucked up yo! After all the shit we've done for you and your daddy's company!"

"And I agree with you Reno," Rufus stated, "but you guys are basically useless to me now."

Scarlet grumbled and crossed her arms underneath her large bosom.

"Well, ain't that a bitch!" she hissed out. "Heidegger my dear, what will we do without a profession?"

The pump bearded man slammed his meaty fist on the table. "You can't fire us boy! You ain't the president!"

Rufus smiled and chuckled deeply. "Oh, but I am. My father gave me control until he's out of his coma."

A simultaneous groan sounded from around the room. Reno pouted.

"Ruuuuudddeee! How am I gonna live with no monies!"

"I told you to save," he said evenly.

"Now now! I wouldn't let my faithful employees go without employment! That would be too cruel!" The haughty blond informed.

"But, you just fired us?" Angeal said.

"Yes, I fired you from your Shinra jobs. However, I do have employment for each and every one of you."

He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a medium sized box. He placed the item in front of him and leaned back into his comfortable black chair.

"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled back into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.

"The hell!" Reno yelled. "If you fired us, what make you think we'd do what you tell us to now!"

"Because it's in all of your contracts. Even if you are dismissed from service, you remain under Shinra's command for a period of one year. If you wish to break contract, then don't think about getting your jobs back."

"Should have read the fine print," Reno said as he slumped in his seat.

Rufus smiled at them all now. This was probably one of the best ideas he'd even had.

"Sir," Cloud said lowly. "Should I leave?"

"No nonsense. You'll be pulling from the box as well."

"But!" he started to say, but Rufus held up a hand to silence him.

"Sir, what about your safety during this?" Tseng's voice was as calm as always.

"I will be fine. Trust me. I have made the necessary arrangements."

The conniving blond then placed the box in Tseng's hands.

"Give it to loudmouth over there," he said, pointing to Reno. "We'll start with him and work our way around."

Tseng regretfully handed his subordinate the box and Reno groaned.

"Do I have ta?" he whined. Tseng nodded.

"I'm afraid so."

Reno sighed and stared at the box. He had no idea what kind of jobs Rufus had put in there and it made him nervous. Everyone around the table was staring at him anxiously.

"Well, here goes."

He reached his hand in and shuffled it around the pieces of paper inside.

_Please be something good! Please be something good!_

"Just grab one already!" Genesis screamed, the tension getting to him.

"Shut up god damnit!"

After a minute, he locked his fingers around a small slip of paper and pulled it out. Rude leaned over, and raised his shades to look see what his partner pulled. Reno gasped, horrified.

"This is madness!" Reno bellowed. Rude nodded and grabbed the paper from Reno. He tossed it onto the table and everyone leaned over out of curiosity. There was a moment of silence before rancorous laughter filled the room.

* * *

**Next chapter, fates will be given! **

**Poor execs. Always read the fine print!**

**Comments are love!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**also, sorry if there are speech issues. English is not my first language but I will do my best! **

* * *

"Stop laughing!" the red headed Turk yelled, though his pleas went unheard. He pouted and slumped in his seat. Rude patted his back and he grumbled.

Tseng picked up the piece of paper and looked at it dejectedly before he handed it to Rufus. The blond smiled and wrote Reno's name on sheet of paper, followed by his new profession.

"Then it's settled," the blond said deviously, "Reno will be a kindergarten teacher."

More laughter ensued, and Genesis even fell out his chair. Tseng wasn't amused though. How could Rufus place someone like Reno in the vicinity of small, impressionable children?

"I ain't teaching no fucking snot nosed little shits!" He protested. The enraged Turk then turned to his boss.

"Come on Tseng! You know this is fucking ridiculous!"

Tseng meant to speak on the matter, but Rufus raised his hand, silencing him with the gesture.

"Next person draw from the box," he ordered. Reno scoffed at being dismissed by the blond, but passed the box to his comrade beside him.

"Good luck, Rude."

The man nodded and unceremoniously pulled a piece of paper from the box. He read the script and stood up abruptly, startling those around the table. The man turned his head to Tseng and shook his head.

"No." He said evenly, though the commander could hear his apprehension. The long haired Turk walked over to him and held out his hand to retrieve the slip of paper. Rude was reluctant to give it to him.

"Subordinate?" he said, raising his hand in emphasis.

"I wonder what he got," Genesis whispered to Sephiroth, who just shrugged. At the moment the General was annoyed with the situation, and depending on what profession he got would reflect on if Rufus made it out with his head.

Tseng grabbed the end of the slip and tried to pull it from Rude's hold. He frowned when he was met with resistance. The Turk wanted to sympathize with his Turk but he would have to know what profession he got in order to help him.

"Relinquish your hold," he ordered.

"You're not my boss…currently," Rude said, his defiance surprising the head Turk. The man must be desperate.

"Give it to him Rude," Rufus said, his tone laced with amusement.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rude released his hold on the tiny piece of paper. Tseng gave him a thankful look before he glanced at the slip. His face went pale and he grimaced as he handed the paper to Rufus. The blond looked it over and nodded his head.

"It's a good fit, Rude," he said, as he wrote down the man's name and new profession. "Tseng, inform everyone of Rude's new lifestyle."

Tseng cleared his throat and shot an apologetic look at the man sulking in shades.

"Rude, will be working in the adult film industry," he said as professional as he could as to not embarrass the man.

"You're doing porn!" Genesis and Reno exclaimed simultaneously.

"You lucky son of a bitch!" Reno pouted. Rude didn't look so pleased.

"You wanna trade?" the red head asked.

"No trading guys," Rufus informed. He gestured for the box to pass to the next person.

Reeve took the thing nervously. The jobs in the box could range from something like a primary school teacher to a porn star, he didn't know what to expect. He pulled it out and quickly looked at it, not wanting to prolong the torture. He then smiled and kissed the paper.

"Yes! I got something easy! Film director!" The engineer was so ecstatic that he had managed to get a job that wasn't embarrassing. He passed the box to Scarlet and she yawned.

"Why do I have to do this again? I'd rather not do anything at all."

"As I've said before, my executives will not be inactive during this time," Rufus said sharply, as he reclined back into his seat.

The lady in red reluctantly pulled a slip from the box and sneered when she saw it.

"This is completely stupid," he huffed, tossing the paper on the ground. Reeve tried to pick it up but the woman stepped on his hand. He cried out at the sharp pain and retracted his hand.

"Ouch!" He whined. Scarlet rolled her eyes, unimpressed.

"It said butler," she sounded annoyed. "Shouldn't it be maid or something?"

Rufus chuckled. "Oh I assure you, there is a maid profession in the box."

For everyone who had not selected a profession yet, this was detrimental news.

"Please not me, "Angeal pleaded to whatever deity would listen to him.

"Yes, please not Angeal. Nobody wants to see that frame in a maid outfit. Oh the inhumanity!" Genesis said dramatically, placing the back of his hand to his forehead as if he would faint.

Sephiroth wasn't too keen on the news either and hoped his good fortune would aid him here as it did on the battle field.

Next up was Heidegger, who tried to get his chubby hand into the slot but it wouldn't fit.

"Dear god I hope he doesn't get the maid," Reno commented. Everyone in the room went slightly green at the image.

"Can't even get one!" The big man grumbled as he struggled to get his hand in. Rufus frowned.

"Will someone help the fat fuck out!" he scowled. Tseng nodded, and made his way over to the man.

"I can pull one for you, Sir," he offered. Heidegger nodded and sat back as Tseng reached his slender hand into the box and pulled out a slip. Without looking, he handed it to the man. Heidegger then erupted into his infamous laugh and handed the paper back to Tseng. The Head Turk read it out loud, inwardly glad that the man didn't get the maid. His stomach still felt unsettled from the imagery.

"Principal," he said.

Heidegger laughed once more. "I'll get those kids straightened out!"

"Suck for those kids," Reno smirked.

"It's almost as bad as them having you for a teacher," Genesis commented through a grin. Reno flipped him off and reclined back into his chair.

"So far, Rude," Reno began. "You've got the most intense one."

"That could just mean that all the really bad ones are left in the box," Reeve said, causing the three SOLDIER's who hadn't pulled yet to tense up. The boxed was passed to Genesis and he gulped.

"Nervous?" Reno teased. The man shook his head defiantly.

"Of course not!"

He reached in and pulled out a slip. Instead of looking at it he handed it to Sephiroth.

"You read it."

The silver haired man shrugged his shoulders and took the tiny piece of paper.

"Maid," he read out loud.

It went silent before laughter ensued. Even Sephiroth had to smirk at that. The idea of bratty ass Genesis having to serve anyone was beyond hilarious.

"I object!" the dramatic SOLDIER exclaimed.

"Once again, this is not a courtroom Genesis," Rufus informed. He could barely reign in his wide smile of amusement.

The red General glared at the ones laughing at him and pouted.

"I will not subject myself to this sort of treatment! I am Genesis Rhapsodos damn it! Son of…"

"Shut up, Genesis. You're holding up the meeting," Rufus interjected. The red SOLDIER scowled at being so rudely interrupted and tossed the box to Angeal. The dark haired man sighed as he pulled from the box without preamble. He could only hope for something that wouldn't humiliate him.

"Hmm," he said, looking at the words on the slip.

"What'd you get?" Genesis asked curiously, trying to lean over his friend's shoulder.

"Brothel manager. How shameful."

Angeal tossed the paper and frowned. "This profession is dishonorable. I will not participate."

"But Angeal!" Genesis whined, "You'll get fired…like foreal fired! We've worked too hard!"

"I know that, but I just don't know if I can do this."

Sephiroth sighed loudly beside him. "Just stop complaining so we can get the hell out of here."

With that, he snatched the box from Angeal and ignored the man's scowling face.

"My honor is on the line here Sephiroth!" he said. "I know that means nothing to you but it means a lot to me."

The silver haired man shrugged his shoulders and pulled out a profession. He shrugged his shoulders and flicked the piece of paper at the vice president. The blond frowned and signaled for Tseng to grab the paper. He did as was told and read it out loud.

"The general has been assigned to work as a secretary."

Genesis let his outrage known immediately. "That's not fair! While I'm slaving away, he'll be sitting in a comfy chair behind a desk!"

"Calm down Genesis," Rufus said, annoyed by his continued outbursts. The red haired SOLDIER crossed his arms and mumbled under his breath obscenities directed at his boss.

Rufus smirked as he directed his attention to the Turk by his side.

"I believe it's your turn, Tseng." His expression screamed maliciousness.

Tseng picked up the box and dipped his fingers into the box. There were only a few left. He pulled one out and held it up to read it.

"What'd ya get boss?" Reno asked curiously.

"I'm…not sure," he said honestly. The dark haired man walked over to his red haired subordinate and handed him the slip.

"I do not understand," he admitted. Reno took the slip and his face went red.

"Ah," he said scratching his head. "You're a fluffer…"

At that, few others coughed and tried to avoid looking at the confused Turk.

"Tell me what this is?" he asked. Reno gestured for him to lean down and he whispered what the job entitled. Tseng then look up at Rude and shook his head. There was no way he could do such things with the man.

"Please, Sir. I do not want to do something so degrading."

Rufus chuckled and ran his fingers through his silky blond locks.

"You will do your job, Turk," he said firmly before he passed the box to the youngest in the room. Cloud looked mortified. He'd been quiet for most of the meeting, though he chuckled lowly at some things. He didn't want to get a job he couldn't handle.

He felt nervous now that all eyes were on him. Light pink flushed his cheeks and he pulled a slip from the box.

"What is it blondie?" Reno teased. "Ya gonna be my assistance teacher?"

"Shut up, Reno," Rufus ordered. He turned to the other blond and smiled. "What did you get?"

"I…" he started, but lost his voice.

"Speak up."

"I…got President."

Rufus smirked and took the slip from Cloud without preamble.

"But, Sir," Tseng began. "You are the president. How can…"

Rufus raised a hand to silence him. The blond then stood up and held his hand out to Cloud.

"I will step down as President and give the position to Cloud."

The executives murmured amongst themselves at this new situation.

"I do not think this is a good idea," Tseng informed. Rufus scowled and ordered everyone to settle down.

"I will be returning to my position as Vice President, but of course I'll be helping the boy."

Cloud wanted to run away, but Rufus was griping his shoulder hard, keeping him from fleeing.

"So," Rufus began, "I've tried to keep you guys together with at least one person you know. Reno will be teaching at Heidegger's school."

"Aw fuck!" The Turk swore.

"Scarlet and Genesis will be working in the same house."

Genesis scowled. He hated Scarlet. She was almost as proud as he was. He fixed her a glare and she responded by giving him an amused smirk.

"Of course, Tseng will be Rude's fluffer," he said with dark amusement laced in his tone. Rude lowered his head and Reno patted his back in comfort.

"Reeve will occasionally be your director, but for the most part he will be working on other projects."

Reeve blushed at the thought of filming Rude in a porno. He tried to avoid eye contact with him. Rufus continued.

"As for Angeal, you unfortunately don't have a companion since no one drew the profession of 'whore'."

A collective sigh of relief ensued from all the executives and Cloud.

"Shit man," Reno swore.

"And finally, Sephiroth will serve as Cloud's secretary."

The blond blushed. Sephiroth,_** the**_ General Sephiroth was going to his subordinate! How insane.

"Two last things," Rufus said. "First, you'll all be living together in a housing unit I have provided and secondly, if any of you get fired, then you're fired from Shinra as well. So please keep that in mind. Other than that, you all start work on Monday. Meeting adjourned. There are cars waiting outside to take you to your new home. Good luck."

The Vice president rose from his seat and Tseng meant to follow as always, but Rufus halted him.

"I have made accommodations for my protection." With that he walked out the room without looking back.

Tseng frowned and walked over to his two former Turks. Rude had a blank expression but his body language was tense.

"Yo, bossman," Reno greeted. "This is some fucked up shit huh? Stupid Rufus."

"I am not your boss at the moment," he said evenly. Reno smirked.

"I guess so."

Tseng glanced at the tall brooding Turk.

"It will be alright, Rude. We will get though this," he said, hoping to comfort the man. Rude just shrugged his shoulders and walked out the room. Tseng looked to Reno, who smirked in return.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, you can fluff me all ya want," he said cheekily as he slung an arm around Tseng's shoulder. The head Turk would have scolded him for being so unprofessional, but it didn't matter much now.

"Let's just go," Tseng said. Reno nodded and started to walk beside his former boss. He wondered how Tseng was going to take to his new job. He had told him the basics of what being a fluffer entailed, but he'd left some things out. Otherwise he thought the man would have had a heart attack at the time. Tseng would know soon enough what his job entailed and he hoped the man would be able to hold out at least until they could return back to their regular jobs, which he hoped would be soon.

He had briefly spoken to Hollander the other day and the man was busy working on a way to get rid of the mist, but he first had to figure out what Hojo had been doing. The man had seemed ecstatic about being able to go thorough Hojo's notes. He also kept saying how he couldn't wait to rub it in Hojo's face that he'd fixed the problem without his help. He could only hope Hollander could make sense of Hojo's notes.

Entangled in his thoughts, he didn't notice that Genesis had stopped walking in front of him and he collided with his firm, leather clad back. The man felt like solid brick and it hurt he bumped into him. Genesis flipped his hair and scowled in annoyance.

"Watch it," he hissed.

"Whatever maid boy," he teased, reveling in how Genesis' face went red.

"Little shit," the SOLDIER mumbled. "You hear what he said to me, Angeal?" Angeal?"

His best friend seemed to be spaced out. He sighed and placed a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Hey, Angeal," he called again, this time standing on his tip toes to whisper in his ear. The taller man shuddered and snapped out of whatever trance he was in.

"Oh," he jostled.

"You alright? You were ignoring me," he said, only slightly irritated though. Angeal sighed.

"I just, really do not want to be the manager of a brothel. It's not honorable in the least."

"I suppose, but do what you have to do so you won't get fired. I don't want to have to be stuck with Sephiroth all by myself. The man is so insufferable."

"He's right beside you Genesis."

The silver General made a sound of annoyance with his teeth and Genesis rolled his eyes.

"See!"

Angeal shook his head and guided Genesis to the exit.

There were several black vehicles waiting for them and they each hopped into one. Cloud really didn't know who he should ride with, but he decided to get into the car Tseng got in because he felt comfortable with the man. He sat next to him, but didn't look at him. Instead, he stared out the window for the ride and hoped that he would survive this new experience. He never should have taken the job as Rufus' caddy.

◉.◉


	4. Chapter 4

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**Thanks for the comments, faves and follows! I loved reading the reviews and seeing everyone's opinion. **

** ilovwinning said, "I feel like this could be considered a crack fic but it's too coherent for that." Which is this story in a nutshell! Thanks for that :)**

* * *

The drive to their new place of residence was quiet. Reno was seated next to Tseng, his leg jittering in anticipation. Normally, he got a thrill out of new experiences. A new mission, a new weapon or new coworker, but this was something else entirely. An experience he didn't want to experience. What the hell had Rufus been thinking with all this? That it'd be funny to mess with their lives? That being the son of the most powerful man in the world gave him the right to fuck with them?

Regardless of the annoyance he felt by the situation, there was still a part of him who found this all amusing. Maybe not "haha"funny, but entertaining nonetheless. To be able to see his comrades try to adapt to their new roles would be interesting. His aquamarines eyes glanced at the big Turk sitting in the passenger seat. Rude looked like he always did, focused, calm and stoic, but Reno knew he felt otherwise. The slight tensing of his jaw, the way his thick fingers slightly gripped the material of his pants. Not to mention his unexpected outburst in the conference earlier were all signs of his unease.

He couldn't blame him though. Rude was a very private man and even Reno, his best friend, had only met a handful of people Rude associated with outside of work. Contrary to popular belief, Rude wasn't shy. He could be very fun to be around when he was relaxed. Rude was serious, yet in the right circumstances he could be unintentionally humorous.

Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Tseng. He may not like Rufus, but the kid was right in his continual jest about Tseng. The man _was _a fucking robot. He spoke without culture, his speech perfect and lacking in character. Even his dress was uneventful; he wore his uniform in the manner expected without any customization. Even Rude wore his shades which were now synonymous with him. Tseng wasn't particularly tall or short, though he seemed smaller in comparison to Reno's tall form. The head Turk wasn't muscular like Rude, or wiry like himself. Instead, he was had a nice lean form that seemed to be the perfect sum of both their physiques. Reno even thought the man's dick was probably the epitome of average.

As much as he liked to rag about his boss' drab lifestyle, he knew the man had heart. Tseng's actions spoke more than his limited range of emotions. He was very lenient and he listened to his unit. He went out of his way to make sure they were protected and he was always sought his subordinates opinion on things. He was a great leader, which mostly made up for his personality; that and his not so average looks. His attitude may have been lacking, but his face was fucking insanely gorgeous. He wasn't even sure if the man even cared about his looks, but he could be a closest narcissist like he was.

His attention turned to the cute blond sitting on the other side of his boss. He had no idea who the kid was or how he got sucked into such an odd situation. He couldn't remember the kid's name, but he was something to look at. He could only hope the youth was of legal age in Midgar. The boy was hot, but nobody was hot enough to be put in prison for.

They arrived at a sky rise apartment complex and the car stopped.

"This is the place," the driver said.

Reno exited the vehicle and frowned as he made his way around it to meet up with his partner.

"Swank place," he commented. Rude just nodded and continued to move forward.

Inside, the SOLDIER's were already standing aimlessly in the lobby area, along with the other executives.

"Seems like everyone is here now," a young man dressed in a sharp suit said.

"I'm the owner of this complex and Rufus Shinra has entrusted me to see that you are all settled in comfortably. Please, follow me."

They did as was told and the man led them to the elevators, but unlike the elevators in Shinra tower, they were spacious and big enough to accommodate them all comfortably. The elevator ride was short, but it took them all the way to the top floor. The man entered a code in, which by instinct the Turk's paid special attention to. The doors opened and they were surprised to find themselves already in their new residence.

"Oh, now this is wonderful!" Genesis pushed to the front and was the first to step over the threshold into the space. They all followed suit, most gawking at the amazing architecture of the place. High ceilings, light walls offset by dark ones, sleek appliances and a panoramic glass window. The style was modern, and contemporary furniture doused the area. It was really quite a daring, bold design.

"This is so perfect!" the red SOLDIER beamed, running his gloved fingers over the modern mantel of the sleek fireplace. The flames weren't real, but the heat could be felt just the same.

"It really is nice," Angeal added as he wandered into the largest kitchen he'd ever seen. There were two stoves, two large refrigerators, and enough counter space for them to easily make meals simultaneously.

Reno walked over to the huge thick glass window that covered the wall. The view was nice… well as nice as a city with eight mako reactors could be. He tapped the glass to get a depth of just how thick it was.

"Yeah, no one's jumpin' out this way," he chuckled.

"If I may have your attention," the owner said loud enough for everyone to hear. "I am also to inform you that there will be two to a room, except in Miss Scarlet's case and one other person."

Sephiroth sighed at that and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Now on top of this stupid job thing, he wouldn't have any privacy.

"To ensure diversity, Rufus has assigned roommates," the man informed.

"In other words," Genesis spoke, "To ensure our misery!"He let out a great sigh before he plopped down on a pale gray sofa in exasperation.

"I hope I don't get stuck with a Turk," the Banoran added. Reno rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"The fuck does that mean?" Reno retorted. Genesis shot a sidelong glance that held sarcasm in his brilliant pale blue eyes.

"My apologies. I meant to say I don't want to get stuck with you, specifically."

Reno snickered. "Same here. It'd be a disgrace for someone like me to share a room with a bottled redhead."

At that, Angeal sighed and started to rub his temples in advance of the oncoming headache. Genesis stood up and seemingly glided over to where the Turk was. Reno was a bit startled at his speed but didn't let it show though his cocky expression.

"I'm a natural! It is you who are the phony here! I've never seen such a color in nature!"

Instead of being insulted, Reno just shrugged and ran his fingers though his deep red spikes.

"Don't get butt hurt just because my color is more vibrant than your washed out, month old color treatment." The Turk couldn't hold back a grin even if he wanted to…and he didn't.

Genesis was red now. His coloring very close to resembling Reno's vibrant hair. Sensing imminent destruction, Angeal intervened. He grabbed Genesis by the arm and pulled him aside.

"Let it go Genesis. You've nothing to prove to him," he said.

"But Angeal! He insulted one of my best features and challenged my integrity! I know you can't understand since your hair is boring and bland, but this is battle of truths here!"

Angeal frowned at the comment. Unlike his other two counterparts, he didn't particularly like hair in his face and he honestly didn't see how Sephiroth's bangs didn't affect his peripheral vision. Genesis was about to speak again but the owner cleared out his throat.

"If you don't mind, I'll read off the room assignments. First we have Heidegger and…"

Just about everyone besides Heidegger was wishing to not get stuck with the man. Even Tseng was slightly anxious. Rooming with his boss wouldn't really bother him, but it was well known that the man was a horrid snorer. You could hear the man bellowing down the halls of Shinra through his closed office door when the man dosed off.

"…Reeve."

There was a collective sigh and one drawn out groan from Reeve. Reno patted him on the back in sympathy. Heidegger laughed loudly as he patted his belly.

"Dorm days again! I say, bring it on! We'll a blast right Reeve," the bearded man said jovially.

Reeve nodded hesitantly. Reno wrapped his arm around the man's shoulder and smirked.

"Hey, make sure you sleep with your butt facing the wall. There's this rumor that fat fuck over there likes to give men a surprise at night."

Reeve blushed at the information. "W-what? Stop lying Reno."

"I ain't saying it's true or false. All I know is that guys that used to do field work with him said they always woke up with loose assholes. Just keep one eye open and you anus clenched tight tonight." Reeve looked horrified as he glanced over his shoulder at the heavy man who seemed to be amused by the situation more than anyone else.

"That's stupid," Reeve said, though his nervousness was apparent. Reno shrugged his shoulders.

"Hey, I'm just saying, if you keep having a nightmare about a ham sandwich up your ass then it might not be a dream at all."

The red haired Turk smirked at Reeve's obvious newfound fear and wanted to tease him more, but a firm look from Tseng told him he shouldn't.

"Stop being vulgar, Reno," Tseng said sharply. The spiky haired Turk was going to say, "You're not the boss of me anymore", but he felt like he'd pay for that comment later on. So instead of retorting, he pretended to zip his lips shut and moved away from Reeve. His job here was done anyway. The seed had been planted.

"Next we'll have Reno…"

"Whooooo!" the Turk hollered at his name being called. "Hope I get Blondie!"

This made Cloud, who was trying so hard to make himself invisible, a topic again. A few glanced back and him and Scarlet winked, which brought a bight flush to his cheeks. He wished he could dissipate into air right now.

"…and Lazard."

"What? That fucker wasn't even at the meeting!" Reno scowled. He had gotten a blond all right, but it was indeed the wrong one.

The owner spoke. "Rufus has informed me that two executives were missing from the meeting, but nevertheless they were assigned new professions as well. Lazard will be arriving later on tonight, and Palmer will be arriving in a day or so."

"Well," Reno shrugged. "At least I didn't get Palmer."

"I'll continue then," the man said. "Sephiroth will be sharing with Tseng."

Sephiroth cast a glance at the head Turk standing a few feet in front of him and after consideration, shrugged his shoulders, indifferent.

"Angeal will be rooming with Rude."

Genesis had already done the math in his head. There would only be more pairing called because the last person had a room of their own, which left him with the best case scenario of getting a room to himself…or the worst case scenario of sharing with Palmer…or the neutral case of sharing with the blond boy. He gripped Angeal's arm in anticipation.

"And Genesis will be staying with Palmer."

Reno burst out laughing before even Genesis could react. The red SOLDIER's mouth dropped in surprise.

"Which means Cloud will have his own room. That is all for the room assignment section. Now I will discuss some other issues Rufus wanted me to bring to your attention."

Genesis was only partially listening though, his thoughts to filled with disappointment. He didn't want to room with Palmer. The man was weird, ugly and wore terrible suits. He wished they didn't have room assignments; otherwise he'd be content with rooming with his best friend. Stupid Rufus, he thought bitterly. He only started to pay attention when the man started talking about money.

"…cards will be given to you all with the amount of five grand each. This money is to be spent on a new wardrobe, food items, and personal items."

"Only five grand!" Scarlet recoiled. "This dress I'm wearing now is 7,000 dollars!"

"He's just giving it to you to tie you over until those of you who cannot retrieve your bank cards can buy something until new ones are sent. Also, he explicitly states that you should by clothes that are appropriate for your new workplace. Those who have jobs that require a uniform will receive them on Monday. Are there any questions?"

"Um, yeah!" Genesis called out, rage apparent. "Why the fuck do I have to share with Palmer. He's so weird and grotesque."

"You two will make a great couple then," Reno instigated. Angeal then held Genesis back, which was almost second nature now.

"Shut up you skinny ass bowlegged tramp!" the red SOLDIER retorted, but Reno just smirked. The Turk then grabbed his card from the owner and gestured for Rude to follow. He did so reluctantly.

"Let's go shopping, yo," he said, slipping the new card into his breast pocket. "You wanna come Tseng?"

The Turk shook his head. "I'll go later on."

Reno shrugged and headed for the exit.

"Wait! I haven't given you the code for the door yet!" the manager said.

Reno yawned, as if this were old news. "Yea we already got that. See ya later, then."

Genesis snatched his card, having decided that shopping might make him feel better. Soon, just about everyone had left except for Tseng and Cloud. The blond stood by the window and watched as acid rain fell from the heavens. The glass was so thick that he could barely hear the thunder. He did like the fact that he could see where lightning was striking though.

He looked at his bank card and stared at it with slight fascination. He'd never in his life had so much money to his name. Scarlet had laughed off the amount as if it were nothing, but to Cloud it something. He wouldn't just spend recklessly. He'd buy a few items of clothing; some shoes, food and toiletries, then send the rest to his mother back home. His fingers tightened around the card which probably saved him from dropping it a second later. Tseng had suddenly appeared beside him and it took everything in his power to hold back a startled gasp.

"My apologies, I did not mean to startle you, but years of ingrained stealth are impossible to depart from my stride."

"Ah, sure," The young blond said, trying to breathe and slow down his heart rate. Once he was a bit calmer, he placed the card back in his pocket and regarded Tseng with a casual glance.

"You need to tell me something, Sir?" he said awkwardly, not really knowing if he was supposed to keep the title or not. Tseng shook his head.

"Tseng will suffice, and I would like to offer you some advice. Please try not to get sucked into the insanity of this place. You're a good kid, Cloud, and I can assure you that while staying with men of this caliber won't leave you untouched, just do your best to maintain your innocence."

Cloud nodded, but he really had no idea what Tseng had just said to him. He wasn't sure if the man speaking literally or figuratively and he wanted to ask but he didn't want Tseng to think he was dumb. A lot of people took one look at him and wrote him off as a cute, but dumb blond. Though he really didn't make an effort to prove them wrong, it still irked him. However; he had to admit he felt pretty dumb next to Tseng.

"I can tell you're confused," Tseng said and Cloud thought he saw a ghost of a smile but it was gone almost immediately. The blond wished he could better mask his emotions. Tseng had read him like an open book.

"I think you'll understand later, but please, refer to me if you need help."

"Um, thanks," Cloud said clumsily. "But, why are you being so helpful?"

Tseng reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He selected one and lit it with a sleek black lighter. He inhaled, closing his eyes as if he were savoring everything the cigarette had to offer. The good and the bad. He blew out a plume of smoke and continued the cycle before he turned to the spiky haired youth.

"I'd rather have a wilted flower, than no flower at all."

The man then walked away, leaving Cloud to decipher what that meant. The blond looked over his shoulder and watched as Tseng headed for the exit. The man entered the pass code and left in the door/elevator. Once he was gone, Cloud scratched his head and searched his limited sixteen year old mind for an interpretation of Tseng's words, but it all came back to…

_What the fuck was he talking about?_

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**A/N: So, dunno if you guys noticed but I wrote a line that had said that Lazard was at the meeting but that one line was so not supposed to be there so that's why he wasn't assigned anything. But that chapter(2) has been revised and that line no longer exists so...yeah. Kuddos if you caught it though.**

**Also, no mayor Domino. Dunno If anyone was rooting for him to be in this but he wont be a main character. He may make an appearance though.**

******Updates should be more frequent. I had a computer error last week and had to get it fixed.**

******And before it is brought up, I realize that in the game Heidegger hates Scarlet/Everybody, but I kinda want to play on that in this story later on. So he's nice...for now. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

* * *

Reno and Rude rode the elevator up after coming from a long day of shopping. They had bought clothes which they thought was appropriate for their new job, though Reno did blow some of the money on a new game system. When they arrived at their grand condo, there wasn't anyone home.

"Guess everyone's still out," Reno observed. Rude nodded and headed upstairs to the bedrooms. Like a cheesy freshman dorm, their names were decorated on the door. He went into his room and frowned at how small it was. He thought they would be bigger, considering the huge open layout downstairs. The room was about 11'x10' and there were twin beds situated on either side of the room. The twins were extra long so his feet wouldn't hang off. There was a sizeable window between the beds and a dresser settled underneath it. The beds made with light blue sheets and a white comforter. Rude wasn't too fond of the bright color, and would have to remember to buy darker replacements.

As he was unpacking his new clothes, Reno shuffled in; his bright eyes scanning over the man's room.

"The rooms are all pretty small then. Mine ain't much bigger than this, but it's got a bathroom," he commented. The spiky red haired Turk plopped down on what would be Angeal's bed and sighed.

"Man, this shit is so fucked up," he groaned. "You're lucky you got Angeal. I'm stuck with the asshole bastard son. You know at last year's Halloween party he asked if I was dressed as a crack head, when I was clearly a scarecrow!"

Rude smirked at that, and started to hang up his clothes. They weren't really anything different than what he usually wore outside of work. He just needed something to wear because obviously he wasn't going to need clothes in his profession. His smirk dissipated at that. How was he supposed to "that" in front of all those people? Rude was no stranger to watching porn, so he had a good idea of what he going to have to do. He figured he was doing profession pornography since he had a fluffer, which was unfortunately his boss. The big Turk couldn't even comprehended the fact that Tseng would be prepping him for shots, taking care of him on set and basically doing whatever he needed to do to make Rude look perfect.

"Hey, Rude," Reno called out, "Ya think Genesis and Angeal are fucking?"

Rude shrugged. There was definitely something there, but he didn't know if it was sexual or not.

"I think they are," Reno said, "I bet they have rough, SOLDIER sex every day."

"Why are you thinking about this?" he questioned. Sex, for once, was the last thing he wanted to think about.

"I dunno," he responded as he stretched out over the bed. "You think Rufus wants to fuck that blond boy?"

"Most definitely," Rude said confidently. In fact, he could tell from the moment the nobody cadet stepped into the Executive meeting. There was quite literally, no reason for him to be there at all, so yes, he knew Rufus wanted to keep track of this one. But Rufus wasn't the only one after Cloud's goodies. The man shot a look over his shoulder at the culprit.

"I gotta get to em' before that guy does. I mean, who wouldn't like me, right?" Reno said cockily.

"I most certainly wouldn't," Genesis said as he waltzed in like he owned the room. Angeal trailed behind him with several bags in his hand.

"Pets aren't allowed on the bed," the fiery SOLDIER said as he used his superior strength to shove Reno off.

"Hey man, fuck you!" Reno shouted. Rude frowned as the room was now very crowded, even with only four people in it.

Angeal smiled at his new roommate and extended his hand to Rude.

"Nice to meet you, Rude. Let's be friends alright."

The Turk nodded, but inside he knew he would never be this man's friend for the simple fact that Genesis was his best friend. And as the saying goes, any friend of my friend is also a friend. If that meant he would by default be Genesis' friend as well then no, they would never be friends.

He shook his hand firmly and Angeal smiled before turning to best friend who was swiping his gloved finger across the windowsill for dust. He obviously just wanted something to complain about.

"Angeal, help me unpack first," he said as he glided over to his friend, grabbing his arm.

"Sure, why not. I'll be back, Rude." Genesis practically dragged him out of the room, mumbling that he wished he could be with him and not that weirdo Palmer.

Reno slammed the door shut after they left; still pissed that Genesis pushed him.

"Fucktard," he scowled, then deliberately plopped on Angeal's bed again. Rude had finished putting up his clothes and grabbed the last box he hadn't unpacked. He opened it and pulled out his new laptop. Reno swore once he saw it.

"Forget to buy one too."

"You didn't forget, you bought a game system remember." At the mall he kept telling the red head to buy one, but Reno insisted that he needed this new system.

"Eh, I regret nothing," he smirked. Rude was plugging it in when they heard very loud stomping coming from the hallway, accompanied by exasperated groans. Curious, Reno opened the door and was meet with the sight of a very enraged Lazard. Behind him was a poor sap that had to carry his bags…that sap being Cloud. Wrong time…wrong place, he guessed.

"Hey roommie," Reno said as he slinked out from behind the door. Lazard glared at him, but continued on. Reno followed him, and walked next to the cadet that could barely be seen underneath all the bags.

"How'd ya get suckered into carrying prissy pant's shit?" he asked.

"Um…he kinda just shoved it at me and told me to follow him," the blond admitted. Reno sighed.

"Come on kid. Ya can't let Lazard of all people push ya around."

"But…he's the SOLDIER director…"

"Not now he isn't, dumbo," he smirked, ruffling the boy's hair. In fact, Reno didn't know what Lazard's new profession was yet. With a devious, yet debonair smile, he rushed to catch up with the director and opened the door for him. Lazard eyed him suspiciously, but signaled for Cloud to come in with his stuff. Reno had already bought new sheets, which were a eye-popping bright orange. It clashed with his hair and went terribly with the room. It would effectively piss Lazard off, he hoped.

"Just put my stuff on the only sane bed in the room," he ordered. Cloud set them down and made for the exit. He didn't want to be around those two for very long. Out of all the room arrangements, he felt this one was the worst.

Lazard handed him 100 gil before he walked out and Cloud took it without hesitation. He might have thought he was a bell boy, since he was so out of place.

Reno sat down on his vibrant bed and fixed his aqua gaze on the man before him. Lazard was obviously displeased with the room.

"So," Reno began, only to be silenced by a perfectly manicured hand.

"Please, don't speak to me," he snapped. The blond then started to unpack. Reno watched as the man angrily hung up his clothes and placed his things in the top two drawers.

"Ah come on roommie don't be like that," he replied through a sinister grin. Lazard's lips curled back into a snarl.

"Don't tell me what to do."

Reno snickered. "What's ya new job four eyes? I know there were only like two professions left in that box."

Lazard paused at that, suddenly very tense. "I…I don't want to talk about it."

"Ya know he's gonna tell us anyway. You want your spoiled, asshole little brother to announce it to everyone or would you rather do it yourself?"

The blond pushed up his glasses in thought. "I'd rather you shut up by either shoving that putrid orange blanket in your herpes infested mouth, or you can be a really spectacular roommate by drowning yourself in the bathtub."

Reno just chuckled at the insult and stood up.

"Such hostility," he teased, moving to the exit. "But I suppose I'd be upset too if my little brother just made me a whore."

Lazard's eyes went wide and he spun around to face the malicious man. "How…how did you know?"

Reno held up his phone and flipped it open, the screen revealing a list.

"He sent us an email with everyone's updated job. Didn't you get the memo?"

The blond hastily pulled out his phone. It had been on silent so he didn't hear any notification of the email. He frowned as he placed the device back in his pocket. Reno winked at the man.

"Hey, I'll stop by the whore house after a hard day's work and you can suck my dick." Reno's grin widened at the sight of Lazard face beaming red with either rage or embarrassment.

"I'd never let your STD encrusted prick near my lips," he hissed out. Reno shrugged and opened the door to leave. He could still hear Lazard fuming when he left. Tseng came into view and he was also carrying a few bags.

"Need any help, yo?"

Tseng nodded his head. "If you could open this door for me."

Reno nodded. "Looks like you and the General are across from us."

When Reno walked into Tseng's room, he was shocked by how spacious it was. The room was equipped with two full sized beds, a large luxurious bathroom, a balcony and even a small kitchenette.

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed. Tseng eyed him curiously.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"My room, hell, no one's room is this big!"

"Well, this is the master. I suppose he just wanted to keep Sephiroth happy."

That did make sense, Reno thought. Sephiroth was the golden boy of Shinra so of course he'd be taken care of. The red head scowled as he left the room, mumbling about inequality and such. Tseng watched Reno go with mild amusement. Even he hadn't expected to be placed in such a large space. The Turk was unpacking when the door opened again. The General walked in and acknowledged Tseng with a nod. Tseng did the same.

He hoped sharing with Sephiroth wouldn't be so bad. The man seemed to keep to himself and Tseng was fine with that. Sephiroth didn't bother to unpack and just kicked off his shoes so he could get into bed. The man didn't move so he assumed he was going to sleep. The Turk finished unpacking and was now a bit hungry. He was really glad for the small kitchenette. It would allow him to be able to make some small meals without having to use the main kitchen.

He pulled out his brand new rice cooker for which he spared no expense. The object was placed on the counter and he plugged it in. He had bought several bags of brown rice and he intended to eat it with just some salt and a bit of pepper. Brown rice took longer to cook than white rice so he decided to fix up his side of the room. He had bought some nice dark blue sheets and a soft, feather stuffed pillow. As he was making his bed, the door slammed open, startling him but he showed no reaction other than the "holy shit" that ringed in his head.

Genesis walked in with his jaw dropped as he surveyed the room. Tseng was not pleased with the rudeness.

"You should knock before entering," he scolded, which Genesis ignored. He went into the bathroom and made a noise of frustration. The nuburn haired SOLDIER came stomping out with a scowl on his face.

"This is totally unfair! Why don't I have a room like this!"

He fixed his mako enhanced gaze on the General sleeping soundly on the bed.

"Oh, so you like your bed hmm? You know what I have to sleep on? A twin! A fucking twin sized bed! And yet here you lie, bundled like a newborn babe in such a spacious crib that your rich parents bought you!"

Tseng wondered why he had to go into such detail about the parents. Sephiroth didn't stir and Genesis was getting increasingly upset. He raised his red gloved fist and was about to pound it into Sephiroth's side when the silver haired man turned over and socked Genesis in the abdomen. The motion was so swift and powerful; it had Genesis stunned for a few seconds before he doubled over in pain.

Sephiroth didn't say anything either. He resumed his previous position and went back to sleep.

Tseng could only imagine how strong Sephiroth was to make Genesis double over like that with one hit. He was sure that if Sephiroth had struck him like that, it'd go right through his body. The SOLDIER's strength was insane.

Genesis pulled himself to his feet and dragged himself to the door.

"This isn't over yet," he said before he left, slamming the door behind him. Sephiroth grumbled at the noise and placed a pillow over his head.

Tseng hoped Genesis wouldn't become a problem, or he'd have to confront him. The Turk would not tolerate the SOLDIER's rudeness in his own room.

The blinking green light on his rice cooker signaled its completion. He opened the top and scooped up a helping of steaming hot rice into a white bowl. He added a bit of salt and pepper and used his wooden chopsticks to mix it in. There was a small table for two by the window and he took his meal there, eating in silence.

"How appetizing," he heard a deep voice say from behind. He turned his head to see the General standing over him. He'd been so quiet, the Turk didn't hear him. A SOLDIER light on his feet was a dangerous notion.

Sephiroth sat in the chair across from him, his expression lacking.

"It's good for your heath," the Turk explained evenly, taking another small bite.

The silver haired man glanced outside the window. It was raining again, and more heavily. Tseng watched as the man across from him followed tiny droplets of water on the glass. It was slightly eerie how the glow from his eyes shone on the glass as he eyed the droplets.

"Health over flavor," Sephiroth stated.

"Not always. Food can taste good and be beneficial."

Sephiroth glanced at the unapetizing meal and shook his head.

"We'll that looks terrible," the man said before he grabbed a fork from the nearby counter. He scooped up some brown rice from the man's bowl and his face contorted in disgust.

"It tastes terrible too."

Tseng didn't appreciate the man's comment or him eating from his bowl without permission. He finished his meal and washed out his bowl, placing it to the side after it was clean. Sephiroth was still staring out the window. Maybe he liked the rain, Tseng knew he did. Well not the acid rain in Midgar but rain in general he liked. He wouldn't dare be out in the rain in this city for too long.

"So, are you a virgin?" Sephiroth asked, not even looking away from the window.

"What?" Tseng nearly dropped the metal bowl from the rice cooker he was currently washing. How dare Sephiroth ask him such a personal question?

"Such matters concern you not," the long haired Turk responded, holding back indignation from his tone. The silver General turned away from the window to fix his gaze on the Turk.

"I think you're a virgin," he said plainly. Tseng ignored his comment. The Turk was starting to think that it wasn't only Genesis' rudeness he'd have to worry about. Since he was sharing a room with Sephiroth, he thought he should lay down some ground rules. He sat back in the chair, this time with a cup of hot jasmine tea for both of them. Sephiroth grabbed some sugar and started pouring packets of it in his cup.

"Honey is a better option to sweeten the tea," the Turk informed. Sephiroth stirred in the sugar and took a sip. It was decent but he preferred coffee over tea. He watched as Tseng took a careful sip, slowly savoring the silky taste. The general smirked.

"I know for sure you've never fucked anyone now."

Tseng eyed him with annoyance and distaste as he placed his cup down.

"Let's set some rules," he said sharply. Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders.

"First and foremost, if you make a mess, then clean it up. I do not like dirty dishes or a messy room."

The general smirked. "That sounds like a personal problem to me."

Tseng frowned at that. "No it's not. This ensures respect on both parties."

"I bet you sound sexy in your native language."

"Please focus on the task at hand."

Tseng took another sip of his tea. It was really helping him be calm with the irritating SOLDIER.

"Second, I don't want Genesis barging in here. It's rude."

"How is that my problem?"

"He's your friend, so fix it."

Sephiroth shrugged. Genesis rarely listened to him on the battlefield, so he knew for sure he wasn't going to listen to him about his rudeness. He might start barging in on purpose out of spite if Sephiroth told him not to. He decided he'd deal with it later.

"What about late night visitors," the silver haired one asked with a sly grin.

"If you inform me in advance then I can leave or I can put headphones on. They block sound."

"So, it's just me that's going to be having _friends _over?"

"I suppose," he replied evenly.

Sephiroth snickered. "You know, if you want that v-card swiped just let me know. I'll take you out."

Tseng stared blankly at him before he pulled out his phone. He immediately texted Reno, who severed as his personal slang-to-Midgarian translator.

_-what is "v-card" and why does Sephiroth want it?_

His reply came back almost instantly, and he swore he could hear Reno laughing from the hallway.

-_it means he wants to invite you to dinner sometime yo_

Tseng closed his phone and regarded the man across from him. If Sephiroth wanted to take him out to dinner then he didn't have a problem with that.

"Well, I suppose you can have my v-card then. When did you wanna do it?"

He was surprised when the man's jaw dropped and his expression conveyed pure shock. Maybe he thought he was going to say no, but still such a reaction seemed over the top. The laughter had gotten louder too.

"You…want me to do it?" the General stammered. He was just shocked by how forward Tseng was being, not that he minded. He'd take the man's v-card and then some.

"Well you did ask me," he said casually. "If you don't want to…"

"No, no, no I do! I definitely do!" He rushed out. "How about next Saturday night if we're both not too busy?"

Tseng nodded. "That will be fine. I look forward to it."

Sephiroth didn't understand how this happened, but he fully accepted it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**a/n: Gomennasai! I had a big project to do for school and some person wasn't doing their work so we I had to pick up their slack after they were kicked out the group.* slightly bitter***

**But that's over and I can update regularly again! yay!**

* * *

Cloud was the last to return to the condo. He'd spent only three hundred gil on clothes and some groceries, which were mostly junk food. When he arrived on his floor, he was hit with the aroma of something cooking. It smelled delicious, and made his mouth water. He hadn't smelled anything this remotely good since he left home. His nose led him to the kitchen, where a pot of something was being heated on the stove.

He set his bags down and scanned the area. It didn't seem like anyone was around so he scurried over to the pot and lifted the top off. It was hearty stew and it really did look and smell like his mother's recipe. He wanted a taste, so he grabbed a spoon and scooped some up. As he eagerly brought it over to his lips, the sound of someone clearing their throat startled him.

He dropped the spoon and went wide eyed at the sight of the person who was entering the space.

"Miss Scarlet…Ma'am," he stuttered. The woman smirked as he placed the lip back over the stew.

"It's not ready yet," she said, flipping he lengthy blond hair.

"Oh um," he said awkwardly, "I'm sorry. It just smelled really good."

She seemingly glided over to him and Cloud tried not to focus on that huge rack coming towards him.

"So do you make a habit of tasting anything that smells good, boy?" his red lips curled back into a malicious grin and Cloud shook his head.

"N-no, ma'am," he managed to get out.

Scarlet had successfully cornered the blond and his back pressed against the door of the panty. She placed her arms on his narrow shoulders as he played with his spiky locks. Cloud's face was beet red. She was so very, very close. He stared to the side, trying not to look at her face or her voluptuous chest.

"Can you smell my parfume?" she asked, he lips now lingering by his ear. He gulped nervously but nodded.

"Do you like it?" The tip of her tongue nipped his ear and he froze. He wondered if she would devour him like the witch from the folk stories in Nibelheim. If he remembered correctly, the woman from the story also wore red.

"Sure?" he responded and she chuckled, her laugh erratic and very unpleasant. She moved closer until her soft breasts were pressed against his body. He bit his lip to cover an embarrassing squeak that would have came out. He never would have thought that he'd be sexually harassed by a woman one day, though he'd always wished; however, his fantasies never seemed this terrifying.

"Well, you wanna taste me too, Dear?" she said darkly. Cloud's jaw dropped and she smirked again. He wanted to flee, but his feet wouldn't move. Her red lips were suddenly moving closer to his face and he wished someone would come and get her off! He didn't want Scarlet to be his first kiss!

His prayers were answered when the woman's body was removed from his. He watched in relief as Tseng gently pulled her away from him.

"Please do not touch people who do not seek it," he lectured. She "hmphed", appalled that he would speak to her like that.

"It was just a joke," she said.

Cloud slowly sank to the ground as he watched her leave. That was absolutely terrifying, but luckily Tseng had arrived. He looked up at the man who had his eyes fixed on the woman in red who was mumbling profanities as she headed to the living area.

"Thanks," Cloud said.

Tseng nodded held a hand out to the boy. "Think nothing of it."

He pulled Cloud to his feet and the youth sighed.

"I thought she was going to eat me," he said in jest.

Tseng offered a slight smile before he turned his attention to the stew brewing on the stove. He opened the top and started to stir it a bit. Cloud had just assumed that Scarlet had made it but it didn't seem that way now.

"Did you make this?" he asked the Turk. Tseng shook his head.

"Actually, Reno made this. I'm just checking on it for him."

"Reno?" he said in disbelief. He couldn't see the Turk doing anything so domestic. He seemed too hard for that. The image of Reno chopping up carrots, and potatoes was very unusual, but it seemed normal to Tseng.

"Yes, Reno," a voice said from behind him. He jumped, startled but Tseng remained calm, as if he knew Reno was there the whole time.

Reno stuck his tongue out at the little blond and Cloud frowned. He wasn't aware of it, but he moved closer to Tseng now that Reno was here, not to mention others were coming.

"I didn't know you were capable of making something like this," Genesis said as he stepped into the large kitchen, Angeal trailing behind him. "I always thought you survived off of crack to get such a healthy figure."

Reno lips formed a snarl briefly before it was replaced with his trademark cocky grin. "And I've always attributed your good hair to the daily dose of SOLDIER cum that gets stuck in it."

Genesis growled at the insult and Reno snickered as he walked around the man and over to Tseng.

"How's it going?" he asked the Turk, but his aquamarine eyes were fixed on the blond by his side.

"It is just about finished," he informed.

Cloud felt really nervous underneath Reno's gaze, even more so than when Scarlet was looking at him.

"Hey, kid," he said.

"Hey," Cloud responded evenly. Tseng covered the stew again and Cloud followed him when he left the kitchen. He didn't care if Reno noticed he was avoiding him, he just wanted to be safe.

Reno smirked at the sight and shrugged his shoulders. Cloud seemed to think that he could depend on Tseng for his safety, and for now he was right. But Tseng couldn't be around all the time, especially when their jobs started. Reno was a patient man. He could wait. His eyes scanned over Cloud's frame until they rested on his beautiful, angelic face. Yeah, he could definitely wait.

"Nice rape face, asshole," Genesis bit out.

Reno tore his gaze away from the lovely blond chatting with Tseng and fixed it on the annoying SOLDIER beside him. God Genesis was so damn irritating. Maybe he'd give him a shock with his EMR.

He ignored the comment, intent on messing with Cloud some more until another blond entered his vision. His attention was then diverted to the SOLDIER Director who looked utterly pissed off, and pissed off people were always fun to be around, Reno thought.

"Hey Lazard," he greeted. The man rolled his eyes as he walked passed him. Reno wasn't discouraged, and followed the man into the kitchen.

"Hey ya smell that. I'm cooking that shit," he bragged. Lazard opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. He turned on his heels and started to head back upstairs.

"You ain't hungry, roomie?" he asked as he followed Lazard.

"No." He responded sharply.

"Ah come on. Ya gotta eat something yo."

"I'm not hungry."

Lazard rushed up to his room, hoping Reno would leave him alone. But of course the red haired menace would never grant him such a mercy and continued to follow him.

"Come on Blondie…" the Turk began, but Lazard suddenly stopped and turned to face him.

"Fuck off! Just leave me alone!" Lazard shouted. He then slammed the door in his face and locked it. Reno could pick the lock easily but he just didn't feel like it. He was hungry anyway so he'd let his roommate be for now.

Lazard breathed a sigh of relief when Reno walked away instead of barging in. He sat down on his bed and proceeded to pull some cover over his shoulders. He sipped at his water and stared at the floor.

Lazard was furious with this whole situation. Only his brother would concoct something like this. He wanted to bash his dumb face in for making him a whore…Angeal's whore to be precise. He had taken a look at all the professions everyone had been assigned and his, next to Rude doing porn, was the worst. His brother even had the nerve to give the Presidential position to some no name.

He was becoming more enraged by the second, his fingers squeezing the water bottle. And to top it all off, Reno had to be his roommate. He'd always despised the Turk from afar but he really never had to interact with him, and if there was a joint SOLDIER/Turk assignment, he almost always requested Tseng. Now he had to stare at the sickeningly bright orange bed.

A light knock on the door drew his attention away from his depressing thoughts.

"Who is it?" he asked.

"Its Genesis and the other two SOLDIERs I guess."

He stood up and unlocked the door to let them in. Genesis eyes instantly fixed on the bed that was the eyesore of the room.

"Yuck," He said, his face twisting into disgust.

"Indeed," Lazard complied and he sat on his bed. Sephiroth stood by the door. Angeal took a seat on his left and Genesis on his right.

"We came to see how our favorite Director was," Genesis smiled. Lazard wanted to return the gesture but couldn't. He was just too upset.

Genesis shot Angeal a worried look and he nodded.

"Lazard," Angeal began. "How are you feeling?"

The blonds' long, narrow fingers were tightening around the bottle, deforming its shape.

"How do I feel?" he repeated. "I feel like I want to kill my brother for doing this. When I see him…"

"I know," Genesis added. "I can't believe that he would do this to me!"

They all fixed him a look. "I mean _us."_ He added.

"It is ridiculous,"Angeal said, "But we will make it through this obstacle."

Lazard sighed. "That's easy for you to say. Your job doesn't require you to suck off old hairy men."

"Gross," Genesis said. Angeal then gave him a "you're not helping" look.

"I will try and do what I can to make sure that doesn't happen, Sir," Angeal smiled.

Lazard looked at him in disbelief. "Whatever, I don't want to talk about this anymore. We only have one more day of freedom until we're sent to hell."

It suddenly got quiet in the room as the weight of what they'd have to do the day after tomorrow weighed on their minds. Genesis cringed at the thought of being a maid. Angeal wasn't sure how he would find the honor in this and Lazard wondered how he was going to get out of it. The only person who didn't seem worried was Sephiroth. Genesis fixed him a glare and slightly gritted his teeth.

Sephiroth didn't have care in the world. He had a nice room in the condo. His job as a secretary wasn't nearly as demeaning as being a whore or in Genesis case, a maid. The red head always harbored a bit of jealous hostility towards the man but who could blame him. Sephiroth was Shinra's poster boy so of course Rufus would make sure he was well taken care of.

Genesis stood up abruptly and walked over to Sephiroth. The man raised a questioning silver brow.

"What?"

"What! What do you mean what?" Genesis scowled. "Why aren't you suffering like the rest of us!"

Sephiroth shrugged his shoulders. In fact, he really hadn't thought about it because he didn't really care. As far as he was concerned, things were going great for him. Even though he was doing secretary stuff, he didn't see anything bad about that. As far as he saw it, he was getting a break from being General. A break from slicing people in two, a break from the reek of battle, and mostly importantly, a break from Hojo's testing on him. The spacious room was nice, with an added bonus of a beautiful man that had offered his virginity to him. So far, he saw no down side to this. He was actually trying his hardest to not grin in front of Genesis right now.

Genesis scanned his bright blue eyes over him and scowled.

"I hate you sometimes," he spat.

"I accept your hatred," he said sarcastically. The other SOLDIER wasn't pleased.

"Asshole," he bit out.

"Genesis, none of this is his fault," Angeal said.

"Be reasonable," Lazard added. Genesis snapped.

"Aren't you guys even a little angry? I mean while he's sitting comfortably at his desk, you'll be on your fucking knees swallowing dick!" he said with vulgarity intended.

"Genesis!" Angeal shouted.

"No, fuck him," he said pointing to Sephiroth, who just stood there staring at him as he ranted. He was used to it by now.

"I have to get dirty cleaning and he gets to sit at a desk and drink coffee all day. Oh the injustice!" he said dramatically.

Sephiroth shrugged and figured he should leave before things escalated. Genesis had a habit of saying things for shock value and he didn't feel like hearing whatever ridiculous shit would come out of his mouth today. He made for the exit and left Genesis to his ranting. Immediately he was glad he left when he did. Tseng was coming down the hall with the little blond kid. He noticed that the youth had been with Tseng a lot since coming here, but he supposed if he needed someone to watch out for him, it would be Tseng.

"Hey," the silver haired man greeted. Cloud was suddenly very nervous and the General smirked.

"Hello Sephiroth," he said politely. "Have you met Cloud yet?"

"Not formally," his feline slitted eyes fixed on the cadet and he extended his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Cloud," he said.

The blond was visibly nervous, but he shook his hand without hesitation and with power behind it. The boy had a measure of confidence, and he was really cute. He didn't look that smart though but that was because of his bias of blonds. Besides Lazard, he'd never met a blond he liked and he was starting to think that principle applied to gingers as well. He liked dark haired men, and a few exceptional dark haired women. The boy was pretty but way too young for his taste. At that, he fixed his gaze on Tseng.

"Where are you heading?" he asked the Turk?

"I'm just walking Cloud to his room. Then I'll probably turn in early. It's been a…" he paused, searching for the right word, "…disturbing day."

Sephiroth nodded. "Sure thing."

As they walked further down the hall, Cloud glanced back to see the General still looking at them, or more specifically Tseng. Did the Turk know he was being ogled? Sephiroth was staring at him with hunger in his brilliant eyes. Those eyes then caught him staring and he quickly turned back around.

"Everything alright?" Tseng asked at his sudden movement.

"Yeah," he said. _Just that the Great General Sephiroth is checking you out from behind…_

They made it to Cloud's room located at the end of the hall. Unlike the others, his name was engraved in a gold plaque on the door. When Tseng opened the door him for, he didn't know what to expect but it wasn't this!

The space was enormous. There were two levels. The lower one which contained a living area, a nice kitchen and a little breakfast nook. The upper level was actually a loft space, which held his bedroom. Everything was styled in the modern design of the house and there was even a fireplace. The bathroom was huge and contained a tub that could easily fit six grown men…not that he ever wanted that to happen.

"This is amazing," he said, blue eyes scanning the space.

"Well, you are the president now," Tseng reminded him. "You should have the largest space."

"What? My room is bigger than yours?"

Tseng nodded.

"Well, if you ever wanna come over and hang out please do so. Its more than enough space," Cloud said.

"I'll stop by sometime then," the Turk said. He waved goodbye to the blond and shut the door quietly behind him.

Cloud wished he would have stayed longer. He honestly didn't really feel safe when Tseng wasn't around. The spiky haired one didn't have a problem standing up to his peers, but these weren't the bullies from his unit who picked on him for his looks, there were some of the most influential and wealthiest people in the world. He felt awkward because he didn't know how to act around them and after today he sure as hell didn't trust them. Tseng was the only one he could trust at the moment but he didn't want to become too dependent on him. He just had to figure out a way to stand up to them, but for now he wanted to go enjoy the huge king sized bed. He'd never in his life seen a bed so big. Come Monday when he started his new job as president, he had feeling this place might become a haven for him.

* * *

**Next chapter the jobs start! Who should be first! Thanks always for the hits and comments guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**A/N: I finally found a beta and they will be editing my stuff from chapter 8 and so on. So please bare with me in this one.**

* * *

Sunday had been a slow day. With the rain seemingly never ending, it seemed to be draining everyone's energy…well that, and the fact that everyone started their new jobs tomorrow.

Tseng sat by the window of his bedroom, drinking a cup of hot green tea as he watched the rain. The tea was soothing and helped release some of the tension he had. Admittedly, he wasn't looking forward to doing his new job either. He exhaled deeply before he took another sip of honeyed green tea.

The door opened and he wasn't surprised to see Reno coming in unannounced. The man had no manners really.

"Sup, yo," he said, his tone lacking its usual vibrant air.

"Good afternoon, Reno," he said politely as he set his cup down.

Reno slumped down in the chair across from him and fixed his gaze at the former Head Turk.

"Ya get the work schedule Rufus sent out earlier?" he asked.

Tseng nodded. "I did, though I must say my hours are quite varied. Tomorrow I go in at 2pm, but then the next day I don't go in at all. However on Wednesday…"

"Yeah yeah I get it. Porno's just shoot when they can," he grumbled. "But Tseng, I'd rather have your job than mine!"

Tseng took a delicate sip and finished off his tea. It had been very enjoyable.

"Reno, being a teacher is a wonderful profession. You have a chance to educate such absorbent minds and fill them with knowledge."

"But this is a fucking kindergarten class! I'm gonna be around messy, little paste eating monsters all day!"

The dark haired Turk smiled softly at the image of Reno trying to control a class of young energetic kids.

"S'not funny, Tseng," he whined. He laid his head on the table and sighed.

Tseng leaned over and tapped Reno's forehead. The red head looked up with a frown on his face.

"Just do your best and have patience with them," the head Turk said.

Reno grumbled. "Yeah whatever."

Tseng rose up from the table and went to clean his tea cup. He washed it delicately as it was made of fine porcelain and more importantly, the set had been a gift. After it was clean, he dried the cup and placed it back in the cupboard above. When he turned around, Reno was standing up and stretching.

"Are you going to bed early tonight?" Tseng asked.

Reno nodded. "Yeah. I gotta be there at fucking eight in the morning."

"Well I'm glad you're finally taking some initiative," he said. Reno snickered.

"I'm only doing this so Rufus will pay me. I need money, like badly yo."

The red head was on his way out when he heard his boss ask him a question.

"Are you a Turk for the money only?" he asked. Tseng knew the answer to the question already, but he liked to ask anyway.

Reno smirked. "You know it."

It was really late, and though most were in bed by now, Rude was still up and very awake. He sat in the living area beside his partner, Reno, who was currently engrossed in a game he was playing. The spiky redhead had told him at least five times how this was going to be the last part and then he'd turn it off. It was now midnight and Reno showed no signs of letting up. He was in go mode. His body leaned forward with his tongue slightly poking out the side of his lips as he concentrated. His vibrant eyes reflected the glow of the screen, making them seem bluer than they really were.

"You should really go to bed," Rude suggested.

Reno ignored him…though Rude wasn't even sure his partner had heard him. He sighed and took a sip of the Suntory whiskey he had in his hand. For him, it had been a long stressful day, though he actually hadn't done anything. But his introvert nature had him thinking all day, especially about his new "job". He took another sip at the thought. Boy had his luck been bad. His horoscope had predicted that this would be a difficult year for him, and so far it hadn't been wrong.

He supposed most guys would be happy to be in a porno with some beautiful girls…hell, most men were just happy to have sex regardless! But Rude wasn't most men. He didn't care how sexy the girl was he didn't want to do her in front of the cameras. It wasn't because he was shy, he would speak up if he wanted, but this just wasn't for him. But filming a porno was only half of his distress. The other half was the fact that his boss was going to be his fluffer.

Tseng was one of the most reserved men he knew. He was very polite and understanding. He performed his tasks with pride and skill, but he wasn't sure if that applied to work outside of being a Turk. Rude wanted to tell him what his job entailed with full disclosure, but he just couldn't. It was really too embarrassing. He downed his drink at the thought.

"You should go easy on that stuff, yo," Reno said, finally putting down his controller and cracking his knuckles.

Rude sighed as he poured another.

Reno smirked and slouched back into the seat beside him.

"You worried about putting your shit on video?" the redhead teased. Rude snickered.

"Yes, but that's not the only thing."

"Ya worried boss man's gonna have a heart attack from seeing such a big dick?"

"Reno shut up," he said as he took another sip of his drink. For some reason it was just never strong enough around Reno.

"Yo, you know he's still a virgin right?" Reno leaned over and settled his finger around the rim of Rude's glass. He circled the crystal rim and smirked.

"You don't know that," Rude stated.

"Naw man, like Veld told me himself."

"Why would he tell you that?"

"Well, he might not have been all the way sober."

Rude shrugged. Tseng did seem the type to either refrain from sex or just not be interested in it at all.

"How does Veld know that?"

"Uh duh! He's Veld! He knows everything."

Rude nodded in agreement. Veld probably even somehow knew about this ridiculous idea of Rufus' and that's why he disappeared. He knew that wasn't true but it was a funny thought. Rude was getting tired, and he handed his glass to Reno.

"I'm going to bed. You should too," the bald Turk said.

"Yeah yeah I will, right after this next part. Try not to scare the boss with your big ass dick. He has plans this weekend."

Rude didn't want to know what Reno was up to, at least not now when he was feeling like this. He headed for the stairs with the intent of passing out as soon as he was in bed.

"Don't stay up too late," he called back to his partner.

"I won't…I'll be in bed right after this part…"

* * *

The sound of pans dropping woke him up with a start. He jolted up, knocking the controller he had in his lap off. His game had turned off after him being idle for too long. He grabbed his phone and flipped it open. It was nearly eight in the morning. He couldn't remember why that time was so important but he stood up with a wide yawn and stretched. He rubbed his shoulder as he walked over to see what the noise had been in the kitchen.

It turned out to be Angeal. The huge SOLDIER was picking up the pans he'd dropped and placing them back in their rightful place.

"Sorry about the noise," he said when Reno came into view.

"S'all good," he mumbled. He took a seat on one of the bar stools and yawned once again.

Angeal smiled at his sleepy expression and wild hair.

"You're up pretty early," Angeal noted. He placed a pan onto the stove and gathered a few items from around the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'll probably head back to bed soon though. Ain't never been a morning person."

The SOLDIER nodded before he turned his head. Reno followed his line of vision and was met with the sight of Tseng coming down the steps. He was dressed in a simple white shirt and black slacks. He gave Reno a confused look.

"What's wrong bossman? You never seen someone look so hot just waking up huh?"

Tseng shook his head. "You're not supposed to be here."

Reno was taken aback by what Tseng had said and scratched his head. Not supposed to be here. What the…oh. He sighed and checked the time on his phone. It was 7:54, which meant he had to be at work in six minutes. The redhead closed his phone.

"Man…fuck it."

"Reno, just go get ready."

The Turk groaned but did as was told. He didn't bother to shower but he brushed his teeth, fixed his hair and put on deodorant. It was good enough for him. He wore clothes that were similar to his uniform.

"How tacky…" he heard his roommate mumbled out from under the covers.

"Yeah we'll fuck you. At least I'm not a whore…not for pay anyway," he spat back.

"Try not to touch any little boys while you're there," he retorted.

"Try not to spread your STD's around." He left the room after that and headed back downstairs. Tseng handed him a small bag along with a thermo which probably contained some sort of tea.

"Thanks for the lunch dear," he teased. Tseng offered a slight grin.

"I am not doing it for you. I am doing it for the kids. You get really irritable when you are hungry."

Reno shrugged and patted Tseng on the shoulder. "You need to use more contractions in ya speech yo."

The redhead leaned forward as if here were going to kiss the man but Tseng pushed him back.

"Ah, Daddy doesn't get a kiss before work."

"Goodbye Reno."

* * *

He was twenty minutes late when he finally arrived at Shinra Private Academy. It looked like a huge mansion and the entire place was gated. He walked up to the guard and the man halted him.

"I need to see some ID, Sir."

"Ah come on man. I'm already late."

"Are you a teacher?"

"Yeah."

"And you're late?"

"Yeah! What's with all the fucking questions! Has no one ever been late before?"

"Not really."

Reno groaned. He toyed with the idea of knocking the man out and just hopping over the fence, but the guy grabbed some chart and smirked.

"Oh wait. You're that special new employee, just like the new headmaster."

"Yup that's me. Now let me in."

The guard nodded and entered the code to open the gates.

"Welcome to Shinra Private Academy," he said.

"Yeah, I don't need the theatrics yo."

He walked in and the gates closed behind him. No going back now.

He walked along a wide brick path that led to the front door. Another guard opened the door for him and greeted him in the same fashion as the other one. Reno just rolled his eyes.

Once inside, the place was really quite grand. It didn't even look like a school, but like a beautiful resort. He pulled out his phone and read over the directions Rufus had given him. First, he had to visit the headmaster's office to get an ID card. He looked at a map and was soon on his way to the office.

He passed a few classrooms and it didn't look like any school elementary school he'd ever seen. The kids were quiet. There were no toys out, no fun activities going on. It was eerie.

He knocked on the door of the Administration and a battle worn looking secretary greeted him.

"You're that Reno boy hmm…"

"Yeah."

"Go on in then," she snipped.

He walked past her and fixed her an annoyed glare. "Old bitch," he mumbled.

He opened the door and immediately wished he hadn't. Heidegger was talking with another man and laughing loudly. Well, if he wasn't awake before he was now.

"Hey Reno! Come over here and meet the man's job I'm taking for a bit!"

Reno walked over and shook the man's hand. "Sup."

The true headmaster was a big man with a plump round face and unusually thick eyebrows.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Headmaster Tiberius Ungerman. I hope you will be able to live up to the standard of teaching we have here."

"Well I don't intend to so let's just crush those hopes now," Reno said causally. Heidegger let out laugh and patted the Turk on the back.

"He's such a riot!"

Reno sighed. "Can I just get my card? Shit."

"Yes yes of course! Also, the teacher who'll be helping you will be down here shortly. She was here earlier, but since you were so late she had to leave."

"Yeah whatever. I wouldn't have been late if you had just woken me up you fat fuck. I know you saw me sleeping on the couch before you left."

The true headmaster frowned and Heidegger laughed jovially.

After filling out a few papers and getting his picture taken, he was issue an employee card. He shoved it into his pocket carelessly. Currently, he was sitting in the front office playing a game on his phone when a woman with shoulder length black hair approached him. She had this no nonsense look about her that pissed Reno off, even though she was quite attractive.

"Excuse me. Are you the one from Shinra?" she asked. Her voice light, but very forward.

"Yeah," he said as he stood up. The woman was a lot taller than he thought. She was only an inch or so shorter than him.

"I'm Ingrid Gates," she said. "Please follow me to the class."

Reno sighed but followed behind the woman. So far this place was a drag. His school years hadn't been this droll. Then again, he didn't remember going to school that much anyway.

She led him down several long corridors. All the while, he was looking for some resemblance of this being a school. There were no pictures on the wall. No artwork the children had done…the walls were completely bare. Even when they were in the hallway which contained the kindergarten classes, there was still nothing and it was eerily quiet.

She stopped abruptly and turned like a SOLDIER would at attention.

"This is the class we'll be teaching. There are 16 students. Eight are boys and eight are girls. Each of these students are between five and six, and this is their second semester of kindergarten."

"Okay," he said. He felt like he was being briefed on a mission instead on going in to teach kids.

"Each and every one of these's children's parents are paying a lot of money for them to be here so we WILL provide them with the best possible education. Now, are you ready."

"As ready as I'll ever be wonder woman," he smirked at the name. She was tall and kinda looked like her. Even had her piercing blue eyes.

"Don't call me that. We'll talk about your hair and dress later," she said as she opened the door.

He expected there to be screams and wails of laughter. He expected there to be toys everywhere and kids running around and having fun, but that hardly the case. The student's desks were lined in four neat rows and the order was boy, girl. They had on neat uniforms which consisted of red plaid pants for the boys and plaid skirts for the girls. They all wore white dress shirts and black blazers with their school logo on the right breast pocket. It looked like high school rather than a kindergarten.

"Holy fuck," he mumbled as he walked in.

The children didn't hear him but Ingrid did. She shot him a knowing glare before he stood behind the podium. Reno stood in the front and scanned over the children. They were all staring at him with interest. He scratched his head as sixteen pairs of eyes fixed on him.

Ingrid addressed an older woman who had been sitting at the teacher's desk.

"Thank you for watching my class. You can go now, Mrs. Caverdeer." The woman nodded and left soon after.

"Stand!" She called out and the kids did so immediately. "Class, this is your new teacher, Mr. Reno…"

"Ah, Reno is fine," he corrected.

"They will call you by the appropriate title."

He sighed.

"Sup kids," he greeted casually. He could feel Ingrid eyes piercing the back of his head.

"Everyone take a seat. Mr. Reno, would you like to tell the class about yourself."

"Like seriously? They're fucking five years old. Why do they need my life story?"

At the word "fuck", Ingrid was suddenly upon him. Her narrow fingers clutched shoulder, her nails piercing the skin.

"Such language is not appropriate. Now introduce yourself," she hissed out. Ingrid was one scary bitch. She released him and he groaned.

"Ok fine. Hi kids," he said. "I'm here to teach and stuff."

Ingrid rolled her eyes at his greeting but didn't say anything on the matter.

"Does anyone have any questions for Mr. Reno?"

Hands sprung up at that.

"Ok, Haruka. Ask your question."

The girl nodded. "Mr. Reno, why don't your shoes match?"

The Turk looked down at his feet and his shoes were indeed two different loafers. In his hurry this morning he hadn't noticed.

"Because I'm special," he shrugged.

"Why is your head like that?" asked another little girl.

"Like what?" he asked, slightly offended.

"Spiky and red. It's not normal, I think."

"What! The color is gorgeous and the style is very unique. Unlike your little side ponytail," he said defensively.

The girl pouted and caressed her hair lovingly. "My mom says natural blonds like me have the prettiest hair color. Red is the worst!"

Reno's eye twitched. "Well, you're mom sounds like a slut."

Ingrid's eyes narrowed at him and he swore they were glowing, but Reno didn't care. This little snotty kid had to be put in her place. How dare she badmouth redheads!

"What's a slut?" the girl asked.

Reno smirked. "You'll figure it out when your dad tells you to 'not tell mommy about what we do in the basement.'"

Ingrid looked downright possessed with rage but Reno didn't care. He felt better now.

"Class, Mr. Reno will be back in just a few moments," he said through gritted teeth. She grabbed him by his jacket and dragged him out the classroom.

"You're pretty strong. You ever thought about joining Shinra's army?" he jested. She slammed the door behind him and he finally noticed that he wasn't imagining her eyes glowing, they were! With an amazing display of strength, she hoisted him up and slammed him against the wall.

"I'm a retired second class SOLDIER and right now I'm about to go berserk on your ass."

Reno looked down into her mako glowing eyes and chuckled nervously.

"I don't suppose I could persuade you not to beat my ass with the promise of the best sex in your life?"

She smirked and licked her lips. "I'm a lesbian."

"Uh, me too?"

The last thing he saw was a fist closing in and then darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

**A/N: Sorry this is so late. It shouldn't happen again since I now have my computer back! Someone had stolen it but luckily I had loJack on my PC so it was recovered! I'm just glad to have it back as I found out I cannot live without my PC...ever.**

* * *

Waking up at 5:30 am on a Monday was Genesis least favorite thing in the whole world besides the man who was responsible for him having to wake up so fucking early. His phone had gone off at around five, but he'd actually been in bed for a half hour, turning off the snooze button when it sounded. It had gone off three times in ten minute intervals. At around 5:40 am, another one sounded and the SOLDIER grumbled in irritation. He tossed all the covers off of him and sat up straight. He snatched his phone up and flipped it open to turn off the noisy alarm.

He had to be at work at six am and according to the map Rufus had sent him, it would take about thirty minutes to get there by car.

Genesis grabbed his bathing materials and exited his room. He couldn't believe that his room wasn't equipped with a bathroom and that Sephiroth's suite had one. It wasn't fair that stupid Sephiroth got everything. The nice spacious room, the grand bathroom. He even got to share with the attractive Turk leader, while he was going to be stuck with Palmer. He stomped his foot in anger and crossed his arms.

Genesis deserved to be treated just as well as Sephiroth, if not better! With that in mind, he stopped right in front of Sephiroth's door and reached for the handle. He didn't want to use the public bathroom, and the general had a really nice one that he didn't deserve. He turned the knob as quietly as he could and opened the door. It was dark, but he could still see with his enhanced sight. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him.

As he headed to the bathroom, he tossed an occasional glance at the silver haired man who was bundled up in his blankets and sleeping soundly.

"What a bitch," Genesis said under his breath.

When he finally reached the bathroom door, he turned the knob and smirked in silent success. He pushed the door open only slightly before he was suddenly pinned to the ground with a very heavy body on top of him. In a panic, he swung his fist, but the punch was dodged and his arms were seized and held to the ground by strong hands. It was only when he saw the man's platinum hair shimming in the light of the rising sun did he know who was attacking him.

"Get off!" he demanded.

He could see the man above him contort his lips into an amused grin.

"Why are you in my room?" he asked, his deep voice cutting through the morning stillness.

Genesis ignored his question and struggled underneath him. He did manage to get one of his arms loose and he swung it at the man's head. Sephiroth pulled back and Genesis was able to break away temporarily before he was grabbed again. This time he was flipped onto his stomach with Sephiroth pinning his arms behind his back.

"Why are you in my fucking room, Genesis?" He repeated.

The red head growled, then made a face of disgust. "I was trying to take a shower before you interrupted me."

"Oh?" Sephiroth said amused. "And what's wrong with your bathroom."

Genesis made a clicking noise with his teeth that expressed his annoyance.

"You know good and well that I don't have a fucking bathroom in my shithole of a bedroom! Now get off me, I'm going to be late for my job!"

Sephiroth just applied more pressure to the man's bound arms.

"You know, I think I like you like this," Sephiroth said, his feline eyes flickered in the darkness as he scanned over his comrade's form.

Genesis rolled his eyes. "Please Sephiroth, tell me how horny you _really_ are," he said sarcastically.

The general smirked as he brought his lips beside the red head's ear.

"Make sure you send me a pic of you in your new uniform."

Genesis' cheeks went red with embarrassment and rage. He bucked up and struggled to get from underneath Sephiroth.

"Get the fuck off of me!"

Sephiroth chuckled. "You're going to have to buck harder than that to get me off. I know how to stay on for the ride."

"Fucking hell!" the red head spat. He was starting to regret his decision to use Sephiroth's bathroom. It was probably already six and even though he was going to be late anyway, Sephiroth's horny ass was going to make him even later!

Just then, the door to the bedroom opened and the head Turk walked in. He was still dressed in his dark nightclothes and had a cup of hot tea in his hand. With the sun rising, he could easily make out the two SOLDIERs on the ground.

Genesis knew how wrong they must have looked with his back arched and his hips colliding into Sephiroth's who had him pinned from behind, but he could honestly care less what the Turk thought about him. Sephiroth, on the other hand, seemed horrified.

"Tseng!" The silver haired man released Genesis immediately. "Its…this isn't…"

The dark haired Turk ignored the man and took a seat at the little table by the window.

"Tseng," Sephiroth called out as he rushed to the Turk's side. The General wanted to clear things up so Tseng wouldn't think he had a thing for Genesis. He did not want to mess up his chance with the gorgeous Turk.

"That wasn't …we were just…" he tried to think of a valid excuse for why he had Genesis pinned underneath him.

Tseng took another sip of his drink before he looked up at the SOLDIER.

"You do not have to explain anything to me," he said calmly.

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about what you saw there."

Tseng shrugged his shoulders. "I'd rather not see you in such a position but I don't see how my opinion should have any bearing on you. You didn't seem to mind disregarding the rules I set."

Sephiroth had zoned out a bit when Tseng was talking. All he was thinking about was how he hoped he hadn't messed up his chance to sleep with the virgin Turk leader.

"So, this doesn't affect our weekend right? You're still ok with it right?"

"I don't see how this incident affects my v-card," the Turk said evenly.

Genesis jumped up at Tseng's words and gasped. Tseng raised a dark brow at Genesis shocked expression. Was it really that surprising that they were having dinner this weekend? He also noticed Sephiroth looked rather stunned as well. Did they expect him to be homophobic? Was that the reason for their surprise?

"I'm not judging you and I have no issue with your preferences. It has no bearing on you taking my v-card on Saturday. In fact, I look forward to it." He said, trying to reassure the SOLDIER, but all it did was cause Genesis to let out a squeal.

"What the fuck!" the auburn haired SOLDIER said. "What the fuck is this about!"

Genesis bounded over to the two men and fixed his stunned gaze on the Turk sitting calmly with his cup of what looked like to be green tea.

"You're gonna let _**him **_take your V-card!"

Tseng admittedly was slightly confused. "It's not that big of a deal, really."

Genesis' jaw dropped and he fixed his gaze on the silver haired man beside him.

"Why would he let you… out of all the fucking people in this shithole city on this fuckhole earth, take his v-card!"

Sephiroth smirked as he took a seat in the chair directly across from the Turk.

"I suppose I'm the one for him. Right Tseng? I'm that special someone you've been waiting for, hmm?" he said with a cocky smile.

Tseng shrugged his shoulders. "Well, you did ask me. All I did was say yes."

Genesis gasped and was now so **not** regretting his choice to use Sephiroth's bathroom. If he had used the public one, he might not have been able to know about such happenings between the two. Sephiroth was going to be Tseng's first and the Turk didn't seem to think it was such a big deal. Genesis was not only shocked, but a bit pissed off. So now, not only did Sephiroth have a great room, a non-degrading job and a wonderful bathroom, he was going to be able to fuck his gorgeous virgin roommate! There really was no justice in the world.

"Well," Sephiroth said through a yawn. "I'm going back to bed. Oh, and you can use the bathroom if you want."

Genesis's lips formed into a snarl at the man's words.

"Fuck you and fuck your stupid bathroom!" he yelled before he turned on his heels to leave, but he paused to throw in one last insult. He stopped by the door and fixed his bright mako blue eyes on the Turk.

"…and fuck you too you whore!"

He couldn't even take pleasure in Tseng's expression because the Turk remained blank faced and emotionless to his words.

"What?" the dark haired man responded, which angered Genesis even more.

He slammed the door behind him and was once again regretting his decision to try and use Sephiroth's bathroom. He pulled out his cell and swore once he saw what time it was. Of course he was already late but now he had to go to work with the knowledge that Sephiroth was having a perfect fucking life right now. He'd think about how to fix that later but he right now he really needed to get to work…but first, he needed a shower and a hot breakfast. He didn't feel like cooking but he knew someone who would do it for him.

"Angeal!"

* * *

Genesis arrived at the mansion around eight am, two hours after he was supposed to be there. He exited the car Shinra had provided and threw a tip at the driver. When the car drove off, he stood there facing the massive structure with a scowl.

"If they expect me to clean this huge fucking house they can go fuck themselves with the hard side of a feather duster."

He approached the huge gate and pressed the intercom.

"What?" said a familiar voice.

"Scarlet?"

"Genesis?" she responded. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I'm just running a little late is all," he said, flipping his red locks.

"Are you serious? A little late is five fucking minutes, not two whole hours!" she screeched. Genesis pulled at his sore ear to stop the ringing.

"Bitch just let me in!" he yelled back.

Scarlet grumbled a series of swears as the gates were opened. He walked through the parting iron entrance and waltzed up to the front door…which was _only_ about a quarter mile from the damn entry.

He was more than annoyed when he finally reached the front door. He rang the bell once and leaned against a marble pillar as he waited to be let in.

The door soon opened and he smirked at the sight of the "butler" who had responded. Her normal red dress had been replaced with a black tuxedo and a bow tie. Her long hair was pulled back into a tight, neat ponytail and her heals had been swapped for a pair of black loafers.

"You look like a dike," he said as he took in her appearance. She scowled at the comment, but before she could retort back, Rufus had entered the foyer.

Genesis didn't ever try to contain the look of disgust on his face. The blond was dressed like a god dammed dork…which meant he had gone golfing recently.

"Please don't tell me that this is your fucking house because I will cast death on myself right now and just end it all!"

Rufus frowned. "Stop being so dramatic. This is technically my home, just not right now."

Genesis flipped his hair and sighed. "Well who the hell owns this place then?"

The blond woman beside him outstretched her hand and pointed to the sitting room. He focused on her line of direction and was able to make out the figure of that blond boy. He was slouched on the sofa and was otherwise preoccupied with his phone.

"Who the fuck is that?" the red head asked.

Scarlet licked her lips. "You don't remember him. How could you not remember such a delectable treat?"

Genesis made a face of revulsion at her. "Perverted Bitch."

Scarlet just smirked.

"Well now," Rufus started. He turned to Genesis and handed him a white box. The red head gasped.

"Oh my god is this cake!" he asked excitedly. Rufus shook his head, which disappointing him.

"It's your new uniform. Go get dressed and come present yourself before the master of the house," Rufus said through a grin.

Genesis snatched the box and rolled his eyes. "Master my ass."

The redhead entered the bathroom which was quite luxurious. He marveled at the rich design, the spacious tub and separate shower. This was how he was supposed to be living! He admired his reflection in the floor length mirror and smirked. As shitty as his life was right now, he was glad for his looks. Sephiroth may have everything, but the man looked unnatural, unlike Genesis. His beauty was 100% authentic and he loved it.

The man stared at himself in the mirror and reached his hand out to touch it. Of course the mirror image just reflected what he did, but sometimes he wished that the other image would move on its own. He wanted the inverted Genesis to step out the mirror and embrace him. The SOLDIER pressed his lips against his reflection and kissed his mirror image's lips.

"You are beautiful darling. For you are beloved by the goddess, Hero of the dawn."

After gawking at himself, he turned to the white box and placed it on top of the counter. With dread hovering over him like a heavy storm cloud, he opened the box and he couldn't stop the scream that erupted from his lips.

* * *

Cloud jolted at the sound and looked slightly panicked. What the hell was that?

The blond put his phone away and was about to check out the noise when _Miss Butler_ walked in with a wide grin on her face. She had a tray of pastries in her hands as she approached him.

"Would you like a treat?" she said, wetting her lips with a deliberately slow swipe of her tongue.

"Um…what was that scream just now?" he asked, wary of the woman closing in on him.

"Oh that was nothing," she said as she set the tray down and slipped beside him. Even dressed so conservatively the youth was still terrified of her.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Um…" he mumbled. She was leaned so close her large breasts were almost touching his arm.

"Oh, I know what you'd like, Master," she said, practically purring the last part. She then reached over and picked up a lemon cream tart that was plated on a porcelain dish.

"You should try this one." She swiped a bit of cream off the side of the tart with her finger and held it up to Cloud's lips. "Taste some."

Cloud gulped and wished that Tseng was here to help so he wouldn't have to face this woman alone.

"I'm okay," he managed to get out. Scarlet chuckled and her blue eyes flashed with determination.

"Just lick it off, Master," she pleaded breathily. The cream was just a mere inch away from his lips when Genesis barged in looking downright enraged. In fact, he looked so angry that it was only after noticing his expression did Cloud notice what the man was wearing.

Scarlet held nothing back an erupted into an obnoxious laughter that made Cloud think that she may very well be the witch from the tales.

Rufus entered the room from the other side and nodded his head in approval at Genesis' outfit.

"It suits you," he said slyly.

It was a maid outfit, but of course Rufus couldn't just settle for just a boring standard black and white one. The man had went all out for Genesis's uniform and he was quite pleased with the result. The SOLDIER had traded his sleek red guise for a soft blue Lolita maid dress which really brought out his eyes, Rufus thought. The dress cut off just after the knee where a series of white bows graced the hem. A white frilly apron was worn over the dress and tied into a neat bow in the back. White gloves and stockings completed the look, as well as soft blue heeled boots.

"You look like such a bitch!" Scarlet laughed.

Genesis fists clenched by his sides. He hated Rufus with all his heart now and he had already hated Scarlet, but now even more so.

"I think you look fabulous," Rufus commented. "What do you think of your new maid, Cloud?

The blond really didn't want to speak, especially with Genesis looking as psychotic as he did. He felt really uncomfortable with all the attention on him but he managed a response.

"I think…he looks beautiful," he said closed his eyes for the impending beat down Genesis would give him for saying such things, which he really only said out of fear. But when the pain didn't come, Cloud opened his bright blue eyes and was met with the sight of Genesis standing right in front of him. He had a pleased look on his face as he stared down at the youth.

"Well, I suppose I do make everything look good," he said haughtily with a flip of his hair. Pushing Scarlet aside, he plopped down beside the blond youth.

"What do you like about my outfit, or me, in particular?" He said as he picked up a pastry from the tray. With nimble gloved hands, he broke off a piece bread and shoved it into Cloud's mouth with his finger. The blond had no choice but to accept the piece being fed to him, lest he offend Genesis and set him off again.

Rufus smirked at the sight of Genesis force feeding the boy with a smile on his face. Cloud had made the mistake of stroking Genesis' massive ego, and being the epitome of vanity, the SOLDIER instantly took a liking to him.

Scarlet picked herself up off the ground and growled at the sight of Genesis dotting over the youth. She had been interested in the boy first...or second in regards to Rufus. She picked up another pastry with whipped cream on top and sat down on the other side of Cloud.

"Oh you don't want that dry old pasty. What you need is some sweet cream to sate that sweet tooth of yours," she purred.

Genesis snickered. "He doesn't want cream from some old bat dressed as a man."

" And like he wants anything from a fucking pervert dressed as a woman! Ha!" Scarlet exclaimed. "Come now Cloud…Taste my sweet cream."

"No! Have a bite of my delicious baklava, drizzled with golden honey," the SOLDIER said as he pressed a piece of the dessert to Cloud's lips.

"A, um…Mmph!" Cloud tried to protest but Genesis has corked his mouth with the sticky treat.

Scarlet had to have her way as well.

"This cream is sooooo good," she hissed, placing her creamed fingers against Cloud's already stuffed lips. She forced her finger inside next to Genesis' and fixed the man across from her a proud look.

"See, he likes mine better! Kya ha ha!" she screeched, which sent Genesis into a rage.

"NO! He obviously like this better!" he said as he stuffed more baklava into the poor blond's mouth.

"Mmmhm!" Cloud mumbled. With all the food being stuffed into his mouth, he couldn't speak and was too terrified of them both to get up and leave. He looked around for anything or anyone that could help in this situation. His bright blue eyes met another of a darker hue, but as his were filled with fear, the other pair with filled with amusement.

Rufus smirked at the other blond and winked.

"After your _breakfast _we'll head to the office, Mr. President."

With that, Cloud knew Rufus didn't plan on helping him. Of course he didn't think Rufus would really offer him a hand but he had hoped that the man would take pity on him. Instead, he watched as the other blond become blocked out from his vision by his two cross-dressing superiors who were now directly in his face stuffing sweets into his mouth. He could only wait until the two witches were sated with stuffing him for the slaughterhouse that was Shinra.

* * *

**Thank you for reading and once again sorry for the lateness. **

**So, Does Sephiroth have what it takes to be a secretary? Will Reeve be as good with a camera as he is with robotics? And Where is Zack? Hmm...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut, Inappropriate Reno is Inappropriate... **

**A/N: Mature happenings...in which one cannot take. **

* * *

Rude hadn't slept to well last night. He may have gone to bed earlier than Reno, but he wasn't sure if he had fallen asleep sooner. When he had finally manager to fall sleep, it didn't last long. It had to have been six in the morning when he heard the door to his shared bedroom open. He remained still as a shadowed figure entered the room. The person closed the door behind him and Rude immediately was on alert. He didn't think he was in danger but he wasn't too fond of having an unidentified stranger in his room in the pitch black darkness.

The figure moved around and he heard the weight on Angeal's bed shift. He glanced up and saw a pair of eyes softly glowing in the darkness.

"Angeal," he heard the figure with the green glowing eyes whisper lowly.

The other SOLDIER groaned and yawned.

"Wha?"

"It's me Angeal," the figure said, sounding a lot more familiar now.

After some shuffling and squeaks from the mattress, it sounded as if they had adjusted in the twin sized bed.

"What are you doing here?" Angeal said lowly.

"I'm hungry," the other voice whined. "And I don't have time to cook anything 'cause I'm already running late and I haven't showered and Sephiroth was being so mean this morning and…"

"Ok, Ok," Angeal interrupted the man's string of complaints. "I'll make you something to eat."

"Thank you Angeal!" he said in relief.

"Quiet down, Genesis," Angeal hissed. "We're not the only ones in this room."

The red haired SOLDIER chuckled lowly and the bed creaked again.

"Fine, I'll be quiet," he said deeply, then added, "But can you?"

There was a pause before a startled groan filled the space.

_Oh fuck no…_Rude thought. Perhaps Reno had been absolutely right about his assumptions between the two. Another groan ensued and he mentally swore. Were they seriously going to do this here and now?

"Genesis stop," Angeal said softly.

_Please stop,_ Rude mentally pleaded_…whatever the fuck you are doing…stop._

"I thought you liked me Angeal?" he said pouting.

"As a friend and you know that," Angeal said softly. Genesis scowled.

"Come on Angeal. Just fuck me already," he said breathily.

Rude really didn't want to be here…he really didn't.

"Stop Genesis."

"I mean, if you don't claim me as yours then someone else will! Why just this morning I was sexually assaulted by that horn dog General!"

Angeal sighed. "We'll talk about this later but right now you need to get ready for work. I'll make you a nice meal, alright?"

"Fine," Genesis relented.

They both left soon after and Rude was relieved when they were both gone. He guessed they weren't together after all, but it seemed Genesis was determined to change the status quo. The Turk lay down but knew he wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon. Not with what had just occurred and the thought of his impending doom today. He just laid there and tried not to think, but it wasn't really working.

After about an hour he heard the door open and Angeal walked in. The big man shut the door behind him and got back into bed. Like him, he didn't have to be at work until a later time. It didn't take Angeal much time to fall back asleep, but Rude was wide awake. He sat up and got out of bed. He didn't want to lay there anymore with his thoughts swirling around his head so he left as quietly as he could.

He supposed he could make some breakfast but he remembered he couldn't cook for shit. He shared an apartment with his partner who was the one that usually cooked. He would have to try and make something, especially since Reno would not be available in the mornings due to his new job.

When he made it to the kitchen, he spotted his boss sitting at the breakfast nook. He was reading an article in the paper about the accident at Shinra tower. The Turk wasn't sure if he wanted to approach the man but he was really hungry. Tseng was sipping a bowl of soup and though Rude preferred something heartier for breakfast, he wasn't going to complain. He sighed as he took a step towards the Turk leader, but the sound of someone coming down the stairs pulled his attention. He looked back and raised a dark brow.

The General looked like a completely different person in civilian clothes. He was dressed in a white collared shirt and dark slacks that seemed to go on forever since his legs were so long. He wore a black tie, sleek loafers and a long gray tweed jacket that fell to his knees. The General smirked as he spotted Rude staring.

"If you're lucky, one day you can undress me while I'm wearing this," he said slyly as he walked pass the Turk.

He wanted to say he wasn't interested but he decided to just ignore the comment. The SOLDIER headed into the kitchen and opened the top on a pot that was on the stove.

"You make this Tseng?" he asked.

The Turk placed his paper down and regarded the SOLDIER hovering over the pot.

"Yes," he answered evenly.

"Can I have some? I won't have time to eat before I go to work."

Tseng nodded and Rude swore as Sephiroth started to eat the rest of the miso soup from the pot. The SOLDIER noticed Rude glaring though his shades.

"Did you want some?" he asked, pausing during his feast.

Rude made a face of disgust. Of course he didn't want any, especially since Sephiroth was drinking it from the side of the pot like a fucking barbarian.

"I can make you some if you would like," Tseng offered.

"Oh no that's okay, Sir," he declined. "I was just going to make something."

He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a carton of eggs and a few slices of bread. He figured he could manage toast and eggs. As he pulled out a pan, Sephiroth burped and placed the now empty pot back on the stove.

"Wash that out for me will you?" he ordered more than asked of the Turk. Rude frowned and was about to retort back when Sephiroth turned on his heels and walked towards his boss.

"Thanks for the meal, babe," he said with a lick of his lips. "How about you make shit like this for me every morning and I'll make sure you have the best night of your life this weekend?"

Rude was appalled at the General's terrible manners and how he was talking to his boss.

Tseng looked up at the SOLDIER and frowned. "How about you leave my presence before I cancel this weekend."

With that Sephiroth backed off and took a polite bow. "I will see you later then."

He walked in Rude's direction and patted the man on the shoulder. "Are all you Turks this wild?" he said, lips beside his ear.

Rude pushed the man back and Sephiroth chuckled. He winked at the Turk before he left. The man really was a fucking horn dog. He had heard rumors of Sephiroth's endeavors but he supposed they were true after all.

"Weirdo," he said under his breath as he started to whip up a few eggs. He turned the pan on and put the bread in the toaster. He felt sorry for his boss who had to share with the man. He could only hope Tseng could stand his own against the powerful General.

He poured the eggs into the hot pan, though his mind was elsewhere. There was something about the General that really pissed him off now and Rude could hold a grudge like no other. He wouldn't forget or forgive the man for making a fool out of him, just like he wouldn't forgive Rufus for putting him in this situation.

"Rude," he heard his boss call his name which snapped him out his thoughts. "You are burning your eggs…and your toast."

"Huh?" He looked down at the burned batch and quickly turned off the stove. The next moment his toast popped up completely black.

"Shit," he said as he took them out and tossed them in the trash, along with the eggs.

Tseng was then suddenly beside him and he grabbed the pan from him.

"I will make you something," he said evenly.

"No, Sir I couldn't…" he started but Tseng raised a hand, silencing him.

"First, please call me Tseng as I am not your superior right now. And secondly, I am making you something to eat so please have a seat."

Rude sighed but did as was told. He really wished he had been paying attention so Tseng would have to do this.

"Good morning gentlemen," came the bright and excited voice of Reeve.

"Morning," Tseng replied back. "Would you like something to eat?"

The engineer shook his head politely. "I had something earlier but thank you."

Rude wished he had said yes so he wouldn't fell so bad having Tseng make his food. Reeve took a seat across from Rude and the Turk noticed he had a very expensive camera hanging around his neck.

"I'm ready to start documenting life! Starting now!" he said excitedly. He turned on his camera and aimed the lens at Rude.

"Say hi Rude!"

"Please don't do this," Rude said. The last thing he wanted to see was a camera.

"Oh don't be a sour patch kid," he said cheesily. The engineer then aimed his camera at the Turk cooking breakfast.

"Hi Tseng!" he said.

The Turk turned to face the camera and gave a slight wave.

"How's your morning going?"

"It has not been unbearable."

"Are you looking forward to your new job?"

Tseng scooped his batch of perfect eggs on a plate beside two slices of whole wheat buttered toast. He placed the plate in front of Rude.

"I am not too familiar with my job, but I believe it has to do with helping Rude with his job. So I guess I am looking forward to being of any assistance to him as his comrade in arms."

"Please, Si-, Tseng," he said slightly embarrassed. Tseng had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"It's quite alright, Rude. I will be happy to help you anyway I can."

Rude sighed.

"So," Reeve began, "You are Rude's fluffer right?"

"Yes I believe that's the title I was given."

"So, do you feel you are up to the challenge?"

The Turk nodded. "I believe I can handle anything presented to me."

Rude nearly choked on his food. _God if you really love me you'll let me die here._

Tseng suddenly hit his back and he coughed up the food. The long haired Turk offered a slight smile.

"I'm helping him already," he said.

Reeve smiled at the Turk who had his head lowered.

"Thank you for your input guys. I'll be seeing you around," he said with a sly grin.

"He seems to be enjoying the change of employment."

Rude wished he could say the same.

* * *

The rest of the day had been slow for Rude but he became increasingly panicked as their time to leave was approaching. At around 1:30, Tseng came to get him so they could leave together. He wanted to make an excuse but he didn't want to look weak in front of the man. Rude hadn't bothered to change his wardrobe up and wore a navy suit, while Tseng had traded his suit for dark slacks and a light blue dress shirt. He looked much smaller without the suit on.

The drive there was agonizing. He debated whether or not if he should tell Tseng the true details of his job, but if what Reno had said was true and Tseng was a virgin, then he might not be able to handle what was going on. Hell, he himself hadn't been virginal since he was 15 and he didn't think he could handle this. He had to find out the truth for himself.

"Um…Tseng," he started as they drew closer to their destination.

"Yes?" he responded.

Rude took a deep breath and pushed his sun glasses up. "Are you…by any chance…still…untouched?"

Tseng cocked his head to the side. "untouched?"

Rude gulped nervously. "Are you…a virgin?" he managed to get out.

Tseng didn't seem taken back by the question and answered without step.

"I am. I have taken a vow of celibacy in order to honor the gods."

"Fucking hell…" Rude swore.

"I have to refrain from sex otherwise I cannot approach the gods after my death. I kill for a living and in order to be able to repent for those sins I have to sacrifice something. So I took a holy vow of celibacy when I was 16. This way, I can still go to heaven and be with my ancestors after death."

_Fucking shit_ he swore again…and again…and again…all the way to their destination.

* * *

They arrived at a sizable home near the LOVELESS district. There were several cars and vans parked in the driveway, which meant this might be a bigger production than he thought. Of course Rufus would only have the best in the sex industry.

Rude was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Tseng was really a virgin and had taken such a vow. He supposed that's what the talik on his forehead was for; a special mark for those who would remain celibate for their entire life.

They entered the foyer and were greeted by a young woman who took their jackets. She told them to follow her and they did. The house was busy with people setting up cameras and placing furniture. They were brought to the east side of the house where a man was standing dressed in a bright lime green suit and pink alligator boots. His hair was bleached blond, though his dark roots were evident. He seemed to be in his mid forties.

They man smiled as he saw them approaching.

"Ah! Well if it isn't my star!" he said in his raspy voice. Rude just nodded, not really wanting to say anything.

He scanned Rude up and down with a pleased grin. "You're perfect! Absolutely perfect! You will make us so much fucking money!"

The man let out a laugh that sounded like nails being scraped against a washboard.

"My name's Use and I'm the director of this film. I'm so very glad Rufus is letting us use you."

The man then turned his attention to the long haired Turk beside him.

"You must be his...assistant," he asked.

"Yes," the Turk said evenly.

Use licked his lips and nodded in approval.

"Hey baby. If you want a spot just let me know and I'll hook you up."

Tseng looked up to Rude for translation. Rude sighed.

"He's not interested," he said.

Use shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe next time."

"Maybe never," Rude said sharply. The sleazy man frowned at that but let it go.

"Well, here's your script so make sure you look through scene one. We'll be shooting that today."

_There's a script for this shit? _He thought.

"Oh!" the lime suited man started. "And these are the girls you'll be working with. GIRLS!"

The "girls" came around the corner and Rude's jaw dropped. They stood in front of him and Use smirked. Tseng cocked his head to the side in confusion and tapped Rude's shoulder.

"Are "girls" slang for boys in this business?" he asked innocently.

Rude fell to his knees in shame and rage. "Fucking Rufus."

Was this the blonds' idea of a joke? If so, he was a sick motherfucker.

"Are you alright, Deary?" one of the "girls" asked.

Tseng knelt down to Rude's level and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Is there an issue Rude?" he asked concerned.

"Yes Tseng…yes there is a very big fucking issue. They are fucking men. I going to have to fuck men," he said though gritted teeth. He'd be sure to give Rufus a piece of his mind the next time he saw him.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, in Da Chao's eyes there is no homo or hetero sexual. Just sexual beings."

"You are not helping," he said.

Tseng helped Rude up and the Turk had to face the three guys who'd he'd be more intimate with than he ever wanted to be before the day was over.

"Will you be joining us?" one of the girls asked Tseng. The Turk shook his head.

"I'm a fluffer," he informed.

"Oh," another one said. "You're the off-screen help."

"I'll just leave you guys to get better acquainted," Use said as he left the Turks alone with the three other co-stars.

Rude was feeling lightheaded so he took a seat on a bright red sofa. Tseng settle down beside him.

The three others sat across from them.

"My name's Koda," one dark haired, blue eyed boy said.

"That's Sei," he said pointing to the blond, "and Artemis," he said gesturing to the other dark haired boy with waist length hair.

"Is this your first adult film?" Koda asked. Rude nodded.

"I've lost count of how many I've done but you always remember your first. Are you a professional fluffer?" he asked.

Tseng shook his head.

"Well, since you're the fluffer for this film I guess I should tell you that since I've been in so many films it takes a little longer to get me off. I take a lot of time to prep."

Tseng cocked his head in that way he did when he was confused. Rude ran the palm of his hand over his face in distress.

"Why would you have to tell me that? Why would I need to know that?"

Koda chuckled. "You're the fluffer right? You keep the stars of this film looking good and you keep our dicks hard during scene changes."

Rude didn't even want to see Tseng's expression so he kept his head down.

"I do…what?" he asked again. "But I thought I was Rude's assistant?"

"Well you are in the sense of you go where he goes and you get him ready for scenes. But you also tend to the other stars on the set. Like during a scene change or if one of us needs to take a break, you'll suck us off or do whatever to keep us hard in order to allow us to jump back into position and begin."

"S-suck…off?" he stuttered, which was rare. Rude decided to face the music and looked up at his boss. Tseng's face was paler than usual but he was doing a decent job of holding in his emotional distress.

"Don't worry. You'll do great," the blond tried to reassure the Turk. "You're really cute so it won't be difficult for us to get hard for you."

Tseng went quiet.

"If it makes you feel better," Koda said as he stood up and started unbuckling his pants. He dropped them and pulled down his boxers, exposing himself.

"It's pretty average size, see," the youth said with a smile. He nodded to the others and they did they same thing, exposing themselves to the two Turks. There were three to many dicks out right now and Rude turned away from the sight and focused on his boss. Tseng hadn't taken his eyes off the sight and Rude thought he had gone into shock.

The long haired Turk suddenly stood up and grabbed Rude by his arm. He dragged the Turk to the nearest bathroom and with great force, pushed the taller man in. He slammed the door closed and locked it behind him.

"Why did you not tell me," the long haired man said lowly.

"I didn't want to be the one to have to tell you something like this."

"So, you would rather have three men flash me and tell me I have to…to…" the Turk trailed off as he sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

"Is it true," Tseng asked after a few moments of silence. "Am I really going to have to touch them and…have oral sex with them…and you?"

Rude sighed. "I'm afraid so."

There was another long pause before Tseng stood up and walked over to where Rude was standing. To the man's surprise, Tseng grabbed the waist of his pants and started to undue them.

"S-sir!" Rude yelled, startled and confused when Tseng unzipped his pants. The shorter Turk pulled his pants down and Rude tried to back away from whatever the man was trying to do to him. He was very scared.

Tseng held on and quickly gripped the elastic from his black boxers and yanked them down, exposing Rude and all his glory. It all happened so fast that Rude could barely register what was happening. Once his boxers dropped, someone or something let out a very feminine sounding shriek and then Tseng was falling. Rude watched with horrified eyes as his boss collapsed on the floor. He quickly pulled up his pants and rushed over to his boss's side.

"Tseng! Tseng!" he called out. The man didn't move.

Rude swore and pulled out his cell phone. He really could only call one person to help him right now and he really didn't want to…he really didn't.

The phone rang twice before it was answered.

"Yo," Reno said. His voice sounded a bit hoarse, as if he'd been screaming.

"I need your help," Rude said, trying to sound calm as he glanced down at his boss on the floor.

"What's wrong yo. Ain't you at the set? You killed someone with that bigass dick of yours?"

The line went silent.

"Yo, don't tell me…Oh my fucking god no…he fainted? Please tell me you're not shitting me man?"

Rude nodded, though he knew Reno couldn't see him.

"Just get over here and help me," the Turk hissed out, though he wasn't sure if Reno had heard him over his own laughter.

"I told you man! I called that shit! Hahaha!" he ended in gut wrenching laughter.

"Just get over here! We're in a bathroom on the east side of the building," he said.

Reno was hyperventilating. "I'll be…I'll be…oh fuck man I can't stop…oh fuck it hurts."

Rude hung up on his comrade and scowled. He couldn't believe what Reno had said came true. The man saw it, screamed and hit the floor.

He was dreading the part when Tseng would wake up, only to realize that the size would double when he was hard.

The man twitched on the floor and he thought that maybe Tseng had just come to the same realization.

* * *

**Poor Tseng :|**


	10. Chapter 10

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut, Lazard's mouth**

**A/N: This story is not dead! It will be updated regularly now that I have my life back. All major assignments are done and the internship complete!I am so sorry I have not been updating but I will. Please comment if you're enjoying this! Thank you  
**

* * *

Lazard stared at the honey bee Inn with gritted teeth and clenched fist. His manicured nails were on the verge of puncturing his palms when Angeal softy grasped his shoulder. He gave him an understanding look and offered a slight smile.

"I promise to do my best to make sure you'll be comfortable," the dark haired SOLDIER said softly.

Lazard snickered at the sentiment.

"Whatever," he snapped. He walked up to the doors and roughly flung them open.

Angeal figured he should keep up with the enraged man lest his temper get out of control. He followed him inside and was surprised to see the place was actually pretty grand. He hadn't been expecting much since the outside was lacking.

The heavy doors slammed closed behind them and it wasn't long before the infamous Don Corneo appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Welcome!" the big man bellowed. As he made his way downstairs, his working girls trailed behind him. It made for an impressive sight as at least forty girls dressed in various states of lingerie followed behind him.

"Dirty bitches," Lazard mumbled under his breath.

Angeal sighed, but he didn't really expect his snippy boss to behave any different.

"Welcome to the Honey bee Inn!" Don said again once he made his way down the stairs.

"Um...nice to meet you," Angeal said.

"Likewise! I can't believe I'm standing next to one of the greatest SOLDIER to ever exist!"

Lazard rolled his eyes.

"He's so handsome," a girl holding a suitcase beside him said. Another one agreed.

The Don's face was suddenly very red and he turned abruptly on his heels to face the girls that were ogling the SOLDIER.

"Hey! Aren't you bitches gonna miss me?" he whined. The girls didn't even hear him.

"Bye Don!" One girl said as she dropped the man's suitcase, which accidently fell on his foot.

His wails of pain went unheard as the girl squealed and started to surround the SOLDIER.

Angeal soon found himself landlocked around the girls, with two of them grasping his arms.

"Oh my, you're so tall!" A blond next to him commented.

"And handsome! Don't forget fucking handsome!" another added.

The Don tried to regain his composure.

"Hey girls!" he yelled.

"What!" they all retorted.

The Don fidgeted with his hands. "Aren't you gonna say goodbye to daddy?"

"Bye," came the lackluster departing from the girls before they turned their attention to Angeal.

"So are you our new pimp?" a brunette asked anxiously.

"Um…yes?" Angeal replied and the girls all cheered with joy.

Lazard stood in the corner shaking his head at the display.

"Only dumb bitches would get excited about a new fucking pimp. I really am back in slum hell," he said.

One of the girls nearby him heard his remark and fixed him a glare.

"And who the fuck are you, bitch?" she snapped.

Lazard was immediately offended and ready to defend himself.

"Listen, cunt," he spat out vulgarly.

"Hey!" Angeal said. "Easy on that word."

Lazard ignored the man and kept his sharp blue eyes focused on the pair of equally fierce green ones he was staring down.

"I've been waiting all fucking day for an excuse to fuck some dumb bitch up and you just so happened to step into my line of vision!" Lazard snapped.

The green eyed girl rolled her eyes and stepped up even closer to him.

"Look you four eyed piece of shit. Don't be coming up in here thinkin' you bad or something, 'cause I will put you in your place, bitch!" She retorted

"Lazard, just let it go," Angeal said, even though he knew Lazard wouldn't take his advice. The man was way too proud to let some whore talk to him like that.

The blond smirked and stepped up to the fast talking girl. "If we're talking about putting people in their places, then yours should be kneeling on your fucking rough ass knees sucking my fucking goddamned eight inch cock until you choke on it."

"Lazard!" Angeal yelled in reprimand. Leave it to Lazard to go too damn far. Angeal made it through the crowd of women and over to the young woman Lazard had just insulted. Needless to say, she had fallen silent after that and Angeal hoped she wasn't crying. Once he reached her, he gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Are you okay young…"

He paused once he realized that the girl wasn't crying, but blushing deeply.

"I've never been so turned on," she said softly.

Angeal frowned and released her. He shot a look at Lazard and the man smirked.

"Sometimes you have to speak to them like that or they'll never respect you," Lazard stated.

"Hey!" came the Don's voice from the center of the room. "I'm leaving now so good riddance to you traitors!"

"Bye!" they said before excitedly huddling around Angeal. The SOLDIER tried to call out to Don Corneo.

"Wait, you can't leave yet! I don't know how to run an establishment like this!" his voice barely resonating above forty high pitched female voices.

"The clients come, you take the money, they fuck the bitches, and then they get the fuck out! It's that easy!" the Don yelled bitterly. He cast one last look over his shoulder at his girls that had betrayed him and headed for the door.

"Goodbye you ungrateful whores!" he screamed, though a few tears trailed down his fat cheeks. He slammed the door shut and left Angeal to his own devices.

As Angeal was being mauled by the girls, Lazard took it upon himself to explore the mansion. When he was a child living in the slums with his mother, she had warned him to never wander or play in this area, so he never did. This was the first time he was seeing the Honey Bee Inn from the inside and though it was decently designed, the placed reeked of sweat, heat and sex. It seeped through the walls and hung in the air, thick and dense. He walked around until he reached a black door.

Curious, he grabbed the golden handle and pushed the door open. The next thing he knew, steam had engulfed him and fogged up his glasses.

"Shit."

Once the mist died down and his glasses weren't fogged up, he stepped forward and was meet was such a gorgeous sight he could pass out. It was a room full of large gorgeous baths, but the loveliest creatures were lounging in them. Each tub was graced with a group of gorgeous women. Most of them had long hair that settled on top of the water and mingled with the other girls.

"Holy shit," he said shocked. As he eyes scanned the room, he stopped on one particular beauty he couldn't pass up. She was mostly submerged with her friends, but she stared at him so intently he actually felt nervous! Her eyes were such a light hazel they appeared to be yellow and her hair was a pale white, like her skin. He was mesmerized by the sight. The girl smiled and raised her hand out of the water, signaling for him to come closer.

He did so seemingly on autopilot as he walked over and stopped by the edge of the great tub. The pale creature swam over to where he was until she was by his feet.

Lazard knelt down by the tub and reached his hand out to touch her warm, wet cheek. It was soft and smooth, and felt very plush underneath his fingers.

"Please," Lazard began. "Tell me your name lovely creature. I am anxious to hear it."

The pale haired one smiled, showing two neat rows of pearly white teeth.

"Jonathan."

Lazard cocked his head to the side in confusion. For some odd reason, he was hearing his vision speak in a deep, masculine voice.

"Wha?" he managed to get out. The pale haired being grasped the edge of the tub and lifted up out of the water, which made Lazard even more confused. Why did his dream girl have a penis and no breasts?

"My name is Jonathan," he spoke again. "You must be the new guy."

"Uh?" He couldn't even form coherent words. His dream fantasy girl had been ruined, ruined by a long dangling thing between the legs. How could he have not noticed this before?

In fact…

He scanned the room once again.

His eyes went frantically from one chest to another, noticing the absence of womanly flesh that was supposed to be there. The mist had covered their lowered bodies and he had just assumed they were women based off their faces.

"Shit," he swore.

Jonathan chuckled and smiled.

"Judging by your reaction, you just figured out this is the men's baths."

Lazard nodded, his jaw still hanging.

"Well, welcome. We were told to make sure to show you the ropes," Jonathan said, though his voice was suddenly much deeper. Lazard gulped and then realized that there were several men approaching him with sly grins.

As they closed in on him, he backed up, only to bump into another man with knee length crimson hair who stood at six foot five.

"We'll show you how to pleasure a man by using you as an example," the tall red head said. The man's hands wrapped around Lazard's waist and the blond screamed.

"Get your fucking hands off me! Angeal!"

A Few seconds later Angeal burst through the doors.

"Lazard!" he yelled.

"Over here!" the blond called out, though he wasn't being molested anymore. In fact, all the guys' attention had been directed to the dark haired SOLDIER who had just burst in looking like a dark avenging angel.

"Are you…" the SOLDIER started, only to be cut off by the pleased screams of the men who spotted him.

"It's our new Master!"

"He's finally here!"

"Master, master!"

They all charged him and Angeal shook his head.

"No stay back! You're all naked!"

He ran out the door and was followed by the screaming men.

It was at this moment he was grateful that he had told Zack to stay away for awhile. There was no way he could face his student if he could see him now, being chased by naked men and working girls.

"Master come back!"

"We just want to welcome you!"

Angeal ran faster until he reached a door down the hall and locked himself inside. He could hear their pleas to come out but he wouldn't dare, at least not now.

Lazard rolled his eyes at the sight. He brushed a bit of dust off his jacket before he headed to the staircase. As he made his way down, he spotted the green eyed girl he'd insulted earlier situated at the bottom of the staircase. She blushed as he walked passed her without an acknowledging glance.

He grabbed the door handle of the exit and opened it, ready to take his leave.

"Wait!" the girl cried out. "You can't leave!"

Lazard snickered and yanked the door open. "Watch me."

He took one step and felt like he had hit a brick wall. He hissed at the sharp pain of impact and took a step back to see just what the hell he had hit. The blond looked up and was met with the sight of two huge men that had smirks on their faces. One guy chuckled darkly, reveling slightly crooked teeth.

"You can't leave the house unless you have permission from the master," the girl informed.

"Where you going bitch?" the muscle bound man asked.

"Um…home?" Lazard managed to get out.

The men shook their heads.

"Get back in there and suck a few cocks, then you can leave," the other lackey said.

Lazard went from nervous to enraged in a split second.

"What the fuck did you say to me you…"

He was cut off by one of the men grabbing him by his suit jacket and effortlessly tossing him back inside. He landed roughly on his side, and hissed at the sharp pain. The doors were slammed shut before Lazard could voice his fury.

"Assholes," he mumbled under his breath.

Just then, the doors opened up again and Lazard thought the guards were coming after him. He instinctively flinched and raised his arms up to protect his head. Instead of a beating, he heard one of the men chuckle.

"Hey blondie. Ya got your first customer already," the man snickered.

Lazard looked up and his bright blue eyes met another's of a similar shade.

"You!" the director hissed as he got up on his feet. The other blond just smiled sinisterly.

"What's up bro."

* * *

**Please let me know if any are still interested in this story. Thankies!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut**

* * *

Sephiroth arrived at his new workplace somewhere around the designated time. The building was newly built, containing thirty floors and a shiny modern interior with various restaurants at the base. Though the building had only opened a year ago, most of the floors and suites had been leased out.

Once he stepped out of the taxi and walked into the building, hoards of bustling office workers stopped to stare at him. Even dressed in civilian clothing, he was still easily recognizable. He smirked cockily at a few attractive females and they blushed madly; one nearly fainted.

_Too easy…_The SOLDIER thought. He took a chance as he walked further into the lobby and winked at an obviously straight male with his arm wrapped around a young lady's waist. The man's cheeks flushed and although Sephiroth didn't look back, he heard the lady slap the man and leave in an exasperated huff. The silver haired man's grin widened.

He made it to the elevator and the look on everyone's face when he stepped in only added to his ego. The man turned to a woman near to the elevator buttons and he smiled at her.

"Floor thirty please," he said, making his voice sound deeper and more sensual than usual. The woman didn't move and could easily sense her nervousness. Instead of repeating himself, he reached over her and hit the button himself. He gave his trademark wink at the cute little brunette and ran his fingers through his hair.

The woman hit the floor.

On the ride up, a few women fanned the passed out brunette with their folders. When he reached his floor, he strolled down to the receptionist desk and leaned heavily against it. The man was of Wutaiian decent and kept his shoulder length hair in a neat bob. His eyes were so dark they appeared to be black, which contrast greatly with his pale skin. He had a pensive, uptight look about him, but he was also really attractive. Sephiroth shot the hot receptionist a grin and figured he'd have the man in bed with him before he fucked the Wutaiian Turk leader this Saturday.

"I'm the secretary for the temporary office of Shinra," he informed.

"Your desk is over there," the man said evenly. He didn't even look up as he pointed to the desk across from him.

Sephiroth was slightly taken back by how deep and smooth the man's voice was, but even more shocked by how he ignored him. The silver haired narcissus leaned over the desk and was so bold as to tap the man on his forehead. That got the sleek haired Wutaiian's attention. He stopped what he was doing and looked up. Sephiroth was greeted with a slightly annoyed look twisted upon the man's pretty features.

"Over there," he repeated sharply. Sephiroth chuckled out of amusement. Just who the fuck in their right mind would talk to him like that? He scanned the nametag pinned on the man's blazer and smirked.

"Hey Jing-Xu," he said, purposefully butchering the name, "I'm new here so be a little nice to me. It may pay off for you in the near future."

Sephiroth looked down into those dark un-amused eyes and was starting to become pissed off at the resistance.

The little receptionist stood up to a height of about 5'4" and looked up at Sephiroth with an expression that could rival his own haughtiness.

"Look motherfucker," Jing-Xu hissed smoothly, "Sit your ass over there and wait for your fucking boss to get here. If you keep fucking with me I will make sure you wish you hadn't."

Sephiroth blinked once, then again before he erupted in laughter. How dare this five foot nothing pretty boy speak to him that way! He was so pissed all he could do was laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair and smirked at the receptionist who was taking his seat.

"You might want to stand up for this you little shit," he said deeply. "I'm general Sephiroth, head of Shinra's army and SOLDIER first class. This temporary job sparked from a man's insanity is playtime for me, and while you sit here pushing your fucking glasses up and creating spreadsheets, I'm out there obliterating the most fearsome of beasts with barely a flick of my wrists. You will respect me you little shit and you will speak to me …"

Sephiroth didn't have a chance to finish his thought because the next second he was dodging something that went whizzing past his head. The object hit the wall behind him and he quickly turned his head to see what it was. He looked at the shiny metal embedded into the wall and looked back at Jing.

"Did…Did you just throw a fucking shuriken at me?" he asked shocked.

Answering his question, Jing pulled another from seemingly out of thin air and flung it at the silver haired general who dodged that one and stood back.

Jing smirked and with a flick of his wrists, shurikens and kunai all appeared between his fingers.

"What the fuck?" the silver general swore.

"Take your seat, Sir," the receptionist- turned-ninja bit out.

Sephiroth wasn't scared of the man as much as he was confused. He walked backward until his legs hit his desk. He maneuvered behind the desk and sat down in the swivel chair. Jing sat back down and resumed his previous tasks of typing.

The general scratched his head in confusion. What the fuck just happened?

A few minutes went by before Sephiroth was over the initial shock of someone ignoring him, disrespecting him, and throwing fucking shurikens at him.

"So…"the silver haired man began, "Are you like a ninja or..."

"Stop talking to me," the receptionist said, sounding bored.

Sephiroth scowled. Why couldn't this guy be like Tseng? The Turk had willingly offered his virginity to him and yet this guy didn't even want him to speak.

The general stared at the dark haired man and crossed his arms. He was pissed but highly amused. As difficult at the moody receptionist was being, he only considered this a minor setback. He was pretty confident he would have the man bent over his desk sometime this week.

"For a receptionist you're not very helpful or welcoming," Sephiroth said. When he went ignored, he kept talking.

"Do you always have ninja stuff with you?"

Another pause. Sephiroth smirked.

"You're pretty sexy for a psycho ninja receptionist. I would ask if you're taken but it doesn't matter," he said cockily. Whatever Sephiroth wanted, Sephiroth would eventually get.

The man ignored him of course, but Sephiroth was having fun now.

The elevator rang, and Sephiroth was greeted with the sight of Rufus Shinra being followed by "that blond kid". Rufus smirked at Sephiroth as he approached and the general wanted nothing more than to hit him in his smug mouth. He didn't like Rufus. He thought the youth was an annoying brat that liked having fun playing with his daddy's toys, not that he minded the break.

"Hi Sephiroth," the VP said confidently. He glanced at the shurikens embedded into the wall and looked at the receptionist.

"I see you've met Jing-Xu," Rufus said humorously. "He's our undercover head of security on this floor."

Sephiroth fixed his glare at the smirking "receptionist".

"You could have said something asshole," he bit out.

Rufus signaled for Sephiroth to follow him and the blond kid into the room that would serve as a temporary office. The place was already fully furnished and much brighter than Rufus' office in Shinra. The walls were a soft blue and the furniture was mostly white. From the thirtieth floor, the view of the city was quite nice.

The general took a seat in one of the armchairs across from the large desk situated in the center of the room. Rufus gestured for the blond kid to take a seat in the big chair behind the desk and he did so reluctantly. It was almost comical to see the small cadet sitting behind that massive desk.

"It suits you, Cloud," Rufus said with a smirk.

Cloud didn't respond, but Sephiroth could tell he was uncomfortable.

Rufus placed a series of documents in front of the younger blond and handed him a pen.

"I need you to sign wherever you see an x mark," he informed.

"What's this for?" the cadet asked.

"Just sign it!" he snapped. Not wanting to deal with Rufus' temper, especially without Tseng being present, he signed his name on the documents. Once he was finished, Rufus scanned through the documents to make sure everything was in order. The VP signed and dated the last paper before he signaled for Sephiroth to come over. The general rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"What the fuck do you need me for?"

"Just get over here and sign the damn thing!" Rufus snapped.

"I'm not signing a fucking thing you prick," Sephiroth retorted.

"I need you to sign as a witness, so just do it or you'll be working for free until my old man wakes up!"

Sephiroth grumbled as he reluctantly walked over to where the two blonds were. Cloud tensed up as the general walked over and turned his head slightly. Rufus noticed his apprehension and suddenly laced his fingers into the boy's spiky blond locks and yanked his head up.

"You're the president now…legally. You have all the power in the world and you will not cower in front of the…help," Rufus said as he glanced over in Sephiroth's direction. Cloud grit his teeth at the pain of having his hair pulled but he was still too embarrassed to look at the general. The man he'd idolized for the past three years. But Rufus wasn't having it. He yanked Cloud up by his hair and the boy rose to his feet.

"Look at him," the VP whispered into the cadet's ear. "Legally he's yours now and you rank above him."

Cloud didn't want to, but he forced himself to look up at the General who was just finishing writing his signature. Sephiroth placed the pen down and looked up to see the cadet's startling blue eyes fixed on him. Rufus had the poor kid by the spikes and was holding him firm.

"See, Cloud," the older blond began, "As the new president you can't be afraid to look your greatest weapon in the eye."

Cloud felt lightheaded. Direct eye contact with your greatest hero was a bit much for him.

"You're a sadistic asshole, Shinra," Sephiroth said before he broke eye contact with the young blond.

Rufus released Cloud's hair and the boy fell back into the chair.

The vice president chuckled darkly before he faced the nervous cadet again.

"Well, Mr. President, what's your first plan of action?"

* * *

A sneeze…then a sniffle, brought him back to consciousness. He was aware that he was lying on something incredibly soft and plush. The room was slightly chilly but not unbearably so. He blinked once, then again as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light. He turned his head to where he had heard the sneeze and was surprised to see Reno casually lounged across a chair. The redhead gave a menacing smile.

"Ya up, Tsengy?"

The Turk sat up slowly and glanced around the room. He was in a large bedroom, but clearly this wasn't his room in the condo. If Reno hadn't been here he might have been more worried about waking up in a strange place.

"Where am I?" he asked.

Reno popped off the couch and plopped into bed next to the head Turk.

"You're still on the set. We just put ya here to rest a bit. You had quite the scare," Reno smirked.

"The set?" repeated the dazed Turk. Why would he be on a set? He tried to think but nothing was coming to him.

"Need something to jog your memory?" the sly Turk asked. Reno sat up on his knees in bed and started to unbuckle his pants, very slowly.

"Anything yet?" the redhead asked. When Tseng still looked confused, he kept going. He undid the last button on his slacks and slid them down his hips.

"Reno, what are you…"

"Just keep looking yo. You'll get it."

Reno grinned as he exposed his navy blue boxer briefs to the man across from him. Tseng looked away, disturbed by the sight. How the hell was this supposed to help him remember anything?

"Hey!"Reno snapped. "Keep your eyes on me."

"You are undressing yourself," Tseng stated.

"I know but trust me. It will help."

Tseng reluctantly turned to face his tormentor and was met with the sight of Reno's exposed private parts, red pubes and all.

"Reno! What in the world are…"

And then it all came rushing back to him. The three young girly boys, the details of his job as a fluffer and Rude's massive…

In that moment the door opened to reveal the owner of said unmentionables. Rude stumbled upon the disturbing sight of Reno exposing himself to Tseng and the dark haired Turk was just sitting there…staring.

"Reno, what the fuck is going on here?"

The redhead pulled up his boxers and slacks. "Bossman was having trouble remembering before the fall so I just gave him a refresher."

"So, you showed him your dick…to remind him of the horror he tried to block out?"

"Yup!" Reno boasted.

"Why didn't you just tell him what happened!" Rude said, raising his voice slightly.

"And miss the opportunity to show the boss my little red monster? Not a chance Rude, not a chance."

Rude scowled at his partner's stupidity and walked over to Tseng. He didn't want to face the man but he knew he would have to eventually so why prolong the inevitable. He stood beside the bed and looked down at the Turk.

"Are you okay Tseng?" he asked concerned.

Tseng nodded, but wouldn't look up at the man. How could he face Rude after seeing…that!

"You traumatized the boss forever with that bigass dick of yours Rude," Reno jested.

"Shut up," Rude retorted, but his partner was probably right. He'd never seen the man act like this…almost as if here were scared.

Wanting to make sure Tseng was really okay, he touched the man's shoulder and the reaction was immediate. Tseng smacked his hand and pulled the covers up over his head.

Rude frowned. Reno laughed.

"Aww, he's hiding under the covers!" The redhead teased.

Tseng could feel them staring at him from under the thick comforter he took refuge in. He wasn't scared of Rude; he just didn't want them to see how embarrassed he was. He almost preferred them having to think he was scared than nervous. Besides Rude and Veld, most people didn't know he was a virgin or that he had virtually no sexual experience whatsoever. So being exposed to so many sexual parts in one day was overwhelming.

He cursed Rufus for putting him in this situation but he was Turk. Second only to Veld and he had a job to do. He sighed under the covers before he pulled the blanket down. He sat up and looked at Rude who was situated by the door.

"Rude, what do we have to do today?" he asked evenly.

The bald Turk smirked. It seemed Tseng was getting back to his old restrictive self again and that was a good sign.

"We have to…"

Before Rude could get the next word out, he became aware of the sneaky redhead behind him. Reno quickly grabbed the sides of his pants and yanked them down along with his boxers.

Tseng's eyes went wide before they rolled back into his head and he fainted. Reno dropped to the floor, holding his sides in laughter.

Rude quickly pulled his pants up and rushed over to his boss. The man was out cold.

"Reno you asshole! I brought you here to help me," he growled.

"Seriously dude. You thought that I would be the best choice for this? I can't believe he passes out every time he sees it!"

Rude had no one to blame but himself in that sense. He sighed, and grasped Tseng by his shoulders before giving him a rough shake. The dark haired one came out if it with a jolt and lunged forward, colliding into Rude and knocking them both off the bed. When Tseng opened his eyes again, he was met with the sight of his reflection in dark shades.

He had fallen on top of Rude and they were staring at each other face to face.

"That's kinda hot you guys," Reno smirked.

Tseng tried to pull back but some of his hair was caught underneath Rude's body. Just then, Use walked in and took in the sight. He nodded his head in approval of the long haired man on top of his star actor.

"Very nice you guys, but we gotta get moving. We have to film at least half of the production today in order to be on time so let's get going. Head to wardrobe and Tseng get him ready for the first scene. I need him to be exceptionally hard." The greasy man said with a lick of his lips. He took one last look at the sight before he shuffled off.

"Get off my hair," Tseng ordered.

"Sorry." Rude lifted up and Tseng was able to break free.

Reno was giddy as he followed the two men to the room being used as a makeshift dressing room. He was glad Rude had called; otherwise he would have missed this!

The three Turks arrived at the room where a young lady was waiting. She quickly dressed selected an outfit for Rude and the man changed behind a curtain.

"Ya nervous, Tseng," Reno asked. They were sitting on a couch waiting for the star to emerge.

Tseng didn't respond. Reno draped his arm around his comrade and pulled him in closer.

"Don't worry. I'll show you how to get him hard," he whispered deeply into the other Turk's ear. Tseng turned his head in order to hide the color change in his face. Reno liked how Tseng was completely out of his element and was having trouble hiding it behind his usual stone mask.

Rude finally came out from behind the curtain and was dressed in a nice, yet form fitting suit.

"You look great!" the lady said before she turned to Tseng. "You have five minutes to get him ready for the first scene."

She shut the door after she left and Reno popped up from his seat.

"Well, we only got five minutes which should be more than enough time," the redhead said, clearly enjoying how tense it was in the room.

When no one moved, the redhead shook his head.

"Come on Tseng. I said I'd show you how. You don't even have to do anything this time. Just watch."

At that, Tseng looked up and watched Reno approach Rude. The man in shades raised a questioning brow as his partner got closer.

"What are you doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm just gonna show him how to get you excited," he smirked as he pressed his lean form against Rude's solid body. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled Rude's head down a bit.

"Come on Rude don't be so nervous. This ain't nothing, babe," he whispered into the taller man's ear.

"Shut the hell up," Rude replied. Reno chuckled before he pressed his lips against his partner's. He kissed him softly, and let one of his hands drop to Rude's waist. He slipped his hands underneath the man's suit jacket and settled it on his waist. Rude been kissed by Reno several times when the redhead was incredibly drunk, but this was different. They were both sober and making out in front of their leader. He didn't think he would even be able to get an erection in this situation when Reno's hand slipped down to his crotch. With his nimble fingers, he undid the man's zipper.

"Don't worry Tseng, nothing's gonna slip out," he said before he went back to invading Rude's mouth.

Tseng watched in horrified fascination as Reno's hand dove into Rude's pants. The redhead even managed to get the man to let out a soft moan. Reno smirked as he felt Rude begin to stir underneath his massaging hand.

"There you are big boy," he smirked as he felt it harden.

"Reno, shut up," Rude managed to say, even though he found himself bucking into his partner's touch. When redheaded Turk felt he was at full mast, he slipped his hand out and zipped up the man's pants.

"Ya see Tseng," he began, "It's that easy."

"I see," was all the dark haired man said; his expression slightly grim.

There was a knock on the door followed by a voice that said they needed Rude now. The man took a deep breath before he headed for the exit, not looking back at either of them, especially Tseng. He opened the door and left quickly, shutting it behind him.

Reno turned his attention to his boss who sat on the sofa with a worried look on his face. The redhead walked over and stood in front of the man.

"Hey. You're going to do fine. In fact, Rude has a preference for dark hair and large breasts so one out of two ain't bad."

"Reno, please stop talking."

Reno could see how distressed the man was even though he was trying to hide it.

"Ok how about this. I'll cover you for today, but you gotta do something for me."

"What do I have to do?" Tseng said, hoping he wouldn't regret his decision.

"Can you grade a few papers for me?" he said, giving the man a soft smile.

Tseng felt as if a weight was lifted off his chest and he returned Reno's smile with a small one of his own.

"Yes, I can do that."


	12. Chapter 12

**Career Adjustment**

**Synopsis: Due to an "accident" at Shinra tower, everyone is now fired until further notice.**

**"I don't want people to think my executives are lazy, so I have managed to get jobs for you all. Reach into the box and pull out a new profession," he said, lips curled into a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat.**

**Warnings: Mature humor, crude humor, language, eventual smut, The foul mouthed Shin-Ra brothers**

* * *

Cloud arrived at the condo around six-thirty. This day had been one he would not surely forget in his life. First he'd been attacked by his "servants" during breakfast, followed by a long day of Rufus taking him to where the elite liked to lavish themselves. When Rufus had asked him what his first plan of action as president would be, Cloud modestly said he wanted to help his mom out. The vice president didn't understand why Cloud wanted to do this but he hadn't objected. He sent his mother five grand and called her to let her know it was money he'd earned, not stolen. After that, Rufus took him shopping, made him dine in the most expensive and exclusive restaurants on the plate, and made him play golf with him.

However, even through all the drama he went through today, nothing had compared to that moment Rufus forced him to make direct eye contact with General Sephiroth. For the entire day, he couldn't get the image of the man's bright feline eyes out of his head. His expression had been indecipherable, but Cloud could only imagine how pathetic he looked at that moment. He felt his cheeks grow hot with embarrassment at the thought.

Once he had reached his floor, he stepped out of the elevator and into the condo. Since it was pretty late, he had expected to see at least someone in the living area or kitchen. He scanned the lower floor and realized that he was alone. He felt a bit of relief knowing that he wouldn't have to face anyone, although he had wanted to see Tseng at least. He walked up the stairs and the silence continued. As he passed Tseng's door, he paused. Tseng did seem reserved and Cloud thought that maybe the man could be home after all. He thought about knocking on the door but hesitated. What if Tseng wasn't there and his roommate was? Cloud didn't think he could face Sephiroth again today.

He sighed at his shame before he started to walk away.

"Cloud," he heard his name being called in a familiar voice. He turned around to see the Turk he'd been looking for approaching him.

"Oh, um," the blond fumbled, which really couldn't qualify as a legitimate response.

"Were you waiting for me?" the man asked.

"I was just walking by," he replied, though he knew it wasn't true.

Tseng opened his door and gestured for Cloud to follow behind him. The blond took a seat at the small table by the window as Tseng put some tea on.

"Where is everyone?" Cloud asked.

"Reno and Rude went out for drinks. As for the others, I am not informed," he responded. After a few minutes the tea was done and Tseng presented Cloud with a cup.

"Thanks," he said before he took a sip. The bitterness took him by surprise as he was used to more sugar. Tseng seemed to have found his reaction funny and could not hold back a slight smile.

"You require sweetness?" he asked.

"Sweetnees?" Cloud repeated, as it was an odd choice of words. "Um, yes please."

Tseng reached over to the counter and grabbed two honey packets. Cloud knew it wasn't going to be enough but he didn't ask for more.

"How was your first day of work?" the blond asked, trying to make conversation.

Tseng tensed up and Cloud didn't miss the right eye twitch. The man's hand tightened around his cup and he cleared his throat.

"It was…disturbing," the replied, though his gaze remained fixed on the window.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that."

Tseng seemed to have a lot on his mind and Cloud didn't want to pry, though he was curious.

When Tseng finished his tea, he took a deep breath and pulled his eyes away from the rainy scene outside. His amber eyes settled on Cloud and the blond smiled out of nervousness.

"How was your day, Cloud?" Tseng asked.

"It was okay," he responded. "Rufus is pretty extravagant."

"Very much so," the Turk agreed. "You did not feel uncomfortable or frightened did you? I know Rufus can be quite overbearing and Sephiroth…"

Cloud's body betrayed him the moment Tseng mentioned Sephiroth. His cheeks flushed red and did not go unnoticed by the perceptive Turk.

"Did something happen?" Tseng asked concerned.

Cloud shook his head, but the dark haired one wasn't buying it.

"Cloud, you know you can tell me if someone is bothering you. I will handle the situation."

"It's not that…it's just…"

The blond was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door slamming open. He barely managed to hold in a started gasp when Reno and Rude walked in. Reno was wobbly, but still the primary support of the duo as Rude was done for. The man could barely stand. He was so drunk that even his bald head was slightly flushed.

"S'up bossman and jailbait," Reno slurred. Cloud grumbled at the name.

Tseng stood up and had a look of displeasure on his face.

"You said you needed to have one drink…one," he scolded.

Reno chuckled before he dumped Rude's large form on Tseng's bed.

"Well, I s'pose we 'ad one too many," the red head remarked. He patted Rude on the cheek before he fixed his drunken gaze on Cloud.

"You wanna get your petals plucked tonight, lil' blond," he slurred. Cloud looked away from the heated gaze Reno was giving him.

"Reno," Tseng snapped as he approached his drunken comrade. "You will not speak to him in such a manner."

The redhead shrugged his shoulders and stumbled back.

"I'm just fucking with him…not literally fucking with him though…which I wouldn't mind doing but…"

"Reno," Tseng snapped in warning.

"Pshh, fine I get it. I'll fucking go somewhere else," he grumbled. He more or less walked to the door and was almost out before Tseng noticed he was leaving something behind.

"Reno, you're forgetting Rude," he informed. He looked down at the man and realized he wasn't moving.

"Just ah…just keep 'em 'ere for practice." The red haired Turk winked before he stumbled off.

Tseng swore mentally as he watched Reno leave. He looked down at Rude and the Turk grumbled something about being hot. Tseng sighed, but decided that it would be best to help Rude, and then he could figure out how to get the man out of his bed.

"Cloud, could you pour a glass of water," he asked.

The boy nodded and rushed over to the sink to get what Tseng asked. The Turk pressed the back of his hand against Rude's forehead and realized that he was quite warm indeed. He had seen most of the Turks, including Veld, highly intoxicated several times but Rude had always refrained from drinking excessively. He felt bad knowing that it was this situation that probably pushed the man to drink so much tonight.

Cloud stood beside Tseng holding the glass of water and highly confused by the situation. He watched as Tseng unbuttoned the man's jacket, followed by his collared shirt. Rude breathed out of relief when his constricting clothes were loosened. Tseng took the water from Cloud and poured a bit over Rude's lips.

"Rude. Are you alright?" Tseng questioned as he hovered over the man. Rude made an incoherent noise before he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Tseng. Cloud gasped at the action and backed up. He wanted to help Tseng but he really didn't know what to do. Rude smiled sloppily before he tightened his grip on Tseng.

"Bar girl…I can't believe it's really you!" the man grumbled. Tseng struggled to break free of Rude's hold but the man was highly intoxicated and wasn't holding anything back.

"Rude. I am not the bar girl!" Tseng informed.

Rude shook his head. "No it's you alright, bar girl. You're so pretty." He replied, smiling sloppily.

"No Rude. I'm Tseng. Tseng! Not the bar girl. Let me go."

"Bar girl your breasts seem bigger in the bar, but its okay. You're still so beautiful."

Cloud gulped as Tseng tried to talk some sense into his comrade but Rude wasn't getting it.

"Should I call for help, Tseng?" Cloud asked. Tseng nodded rapidly.

"Go ask a SOLDIER for assistance if you can find one," he managed to get out.

Rude pulled Tseng closer and pressed his face into the man's chest. The long haired Turk didn't understand why until Rude stated to rub his face into his chest.

Cloud's jaw dropped. He may have been a virgin but he'd seen enough porn to know that Rude was trying to motorboat him.

"Go get help!" Tseng pleaded.

Cloud ran for the door and collided with what seemed to be a brick wall. He fell back and looked up to see Sephiroth staring at the sight very intensely. He hadn't even felt Cloud crash into him.

"What the fuck," the general swore, first in shock, then in rage.

"Hey! What the fuck Tseng! You promised **me **your goodies, not Rude!"

Cloud watched in shock as the General lunged forward and grabbed Tseng by the collar of his shirt. He yanked the man back, effortlessly breaking Rude's hold on him. Tseng felt himself fly back in seemingly slow motion before he ended up in strong arms.

"Tseng," Sephiroth said as he adjusted the man in his arms to fit more comfortably. "Are you okay my little sacrifice?"

The man's word usage confused Tseng, but for now he was glad to be out of Rude's grasp.

"I am fine thank you. Please put me down."

Sephiroth only pulled Tseng closer to him. The Turk swore as he had only escaped the grasp of one horror to fall into another.

"Whoa whoa bossman!" Reno howled as he stumbled into the room. He was followed by Reeve who was holding a camera and Genesis who just looked pissed off.

"Why the fuck are you holding him?" the red SOLDIER yelled.

"I saved him," the general said proudly.

"Please put me down."

Genesis rolled his eyes. "Oh really? You think I don't know what's going on between you two?"

Reeve zoomed in on Genesis and Sephiroth.

"This is good stuff," he commented with a sly grin.

Sephiroth smirked. "What's wrong Genesis? Are you jealous that I get to be with him and all you have is your right hand?"

"You are such a fucking asshole!"

Tseng made an attempt to slip out of Sephiroth's grip but the man pulled him closer.

"Almost slipped out sweetheart," he said smoothly. Tseng was growing increasingly frustrated. He didn't want to result to violence but sometimes it was all these SOLDIERs understood. Tseng used his free had to suddenly poke Sephiroth in the eyes when he was distracted by Genesis. The man released the Turk to rub his eyes and swore out loud.

"Fuck!" he yelled as his massaged his eyes. Genesis seemed pleased by Sephiroth's pain and smirked in content.

Tseng needed to regain control of his room and the situation.

"Everyone besides Sephiroth and Cloud, please leave at once!" he ordered.

"Trying to get that threesome going boss!" Reno jested on his way out, this time taking Rude with him.

Genesis mumbled something about Tseng being an incredibly rude slut, while Reeve was raving about the great material he'd filmed. Tseng slammed the door shut before he knelt by Cloud.

"Are you alright?"

Cloud nodded but he didn't look so good. Tseng helped him up and volunteered to walk him to his room. Tseng figured Cloud was just in shock from the over stimulating scene and they weight of the day was probably getting to him. Once he reached Cloud's grand suite, he offered to make him a meal but Cloud declined.

"Are you okay, Tseng? I mean, Rude and Sephiroth both kinda assaulted you."

"I am fine, Cloud," he replied.

The blond didn't seem convinced and Tseng smiled softly before he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Cloud's forehead. The blond cadet didn't realize he'd been holding a breath until Tseng's withdrew.

"I am fine, trust me," he said, trying to reassure the boy he was rapidly growing more fond of. Cloud nodded firmly.

"I trust you, I just don't trust them," the blond remarked.

Tseng chuckled softly at that and Cloud realized he liked the man's laugh and wished he could hear it more often. Tseng ruffled the blonds' hair before he took his leave. Cloud found himself watching the Turk as he headed down the hall to his room and blushed once he realized he missed Tseng already. The man was quiet, but Cloud felt safe and warm around him. Tseng may have had a limited range of facial expressions and a clinical tone of voice, but he still resonated a warm feeling.

He didn't notice he was still peering down the hall in a dreamlike state until he heard Reno's loudmouth from down the hall.

"Hey jail bait! Why don't you take that wet dream you're having to the bedroom!"

Cloud furrowed his brows in anger before slamming the door, though still could hear Reno's drunken laughter.

* * *

At the Honey Bee Inn, Lazard stared up at his younger half-brother with murderous intent. Rufus stood over him with a look so pompous one would think he was some sort of deity.

Lazard wasn't normally violent, preferring verbal insult in his defense, but the moment he set eyes on Rufus, all he wanted to do was punch him in his face. The older blond gathered himself up and lunged at his brother, hell bent on having his perfectly white gloved first stained with his sibling's blood. Rufus smirked as the brother charged him. Lazard reared his fist back and stuck, only to have his attack easily deflected.

Rufus relished the stunned look on Lazard's face before he quickly punched him in the stomach in one swift, powerful motion.

_He's strong, _Lazard thought at the moment of impact. _Surprisingly very strong…_

The older brother gasped before he doubled over in pain. His vision blurred a bit as he knelt down to one knee.

"You should get used to being on your knees while you're here," Rufus said, adding fire to the flame.

Lazard was in pain, but he still managed to shoot a look of absolute resentment up at the other blond.

"You fucking asshole," the director spat.

Rufus flashed his perfect pearly whites and shrugged.

"Seriously, Lazard? You're from scum city and I still managed to immobilize you with one blow? How pitiful." The younger blond said in mocking jest. The older brother scowled at the comment.

"Sorry I'm not up to par with you physically, but I haven't been jacking daddy off with my right hand for eighteen years like you have. I'm pretty sure that's where your strength is attributed to. I bet you have impeccable jaw strength to little bro-."

Lazard was in excruciating pain before he could even complete the last word. Rufus had punched him twice in rapid succession in his gut, followed by a rather hard hit to the face. Lazard fell to the floor and grasped his waist in pain. It hurt, almost blindingly so, but it was worth it just to see his brother's pissed off expression. Lazard knew he wasn't a fighter, but when it came to shit-talking he was king.

"Fucking bitch," Rufus spat viciously.

He stepped over his brother's form on the floor and walked further into the honey bee inn. He walked up the stairs with an expression so grave the whores that lined the way turned away and gave him his space.

"Angeal!" The blond hollered. Though young, his voice was sharp and it boomed when he was pissed.

There was a mob of scantily clad boys practically clawing at a door who stopped their actions when they saw Rufus approaching. They moved out of his way and the enraged blond slammed his fist against the door.

"Get the fuck out here right now Angeal! I know you're hiding!"

He heard shuffling from inside before the door cracked open a bit.

"Are they gone?" Angeal asked anxiously.

"Who the fuck cares?"

"Well," the man cleared his throat, "They were naked and they wanted to…um."

Rufus growled enraged before he yanked the door open.

"Come out, Angeal. What kind of fucking pimp is afraid of his bitches?"

"I am not a pimp!" The man responded. It sounded so horrible.

Rufus rolled his eyes. "Well whatever you want to call yourself, this place is in fucking disarray. Get it together and control these hoes!"

The young blond then fixed his gaze on the crowd of barely dressed prostitutes. His blue eyes filled with rage and just a hint of madness.

"Well! Get your fucking dirty asses back to work!" he yelled. They scrambled and raced to go back to their respective rooms. Rufus smiled as they frantically tried to follow the given command.

"See Angeal. It's not so hard to round up these breeding chocobo," he said through a satisfied smirk.

"They are not animals, Sir," Angeal asserted firmly. The young blond chuckled at Angeal's words.

"Oh, really?" In a swift, fluid movement, Rufus grabbed a young male prostitute that was hurrying by. Angeal reflexively flinched when a young, dark haired male was snagged.

"Watch this," he said, trying to suppress the amusement in his tone. Rufus placed his hand on top of the young man's head and applied enough force so the prostitute knew he was to kneel. He did, and Rufus crossed his arms at the sight.

"On all fours, bitch," he ordered, to which the young man complied. Rufus then reached down to grabbed the youth's bottoms and yanked the down, exposing his private regions.

"What are you doing to him?" Angeal questioned heatedly. His normally calm temperament was being testing by this insane teenager. Rufus motioned for Angeal to be silent before he turned his attention back to the dark haired youth on his hands and knees.

"Stick your tongue out," the blond commanded. The prostitute did and Rufus chucked again.

"Now cross your eyes like you're getting your brains fucked out," he ordered.

The young man did so and Rufus couldn't suppress his laughter. Angeal was not amused…in the least. He looked down at the trembling young man and felt sorry for him for having to go through this. The young man was so embarrassed there were tears forming in his eyes as his cheeks turned red. Rufus continued to laugh.

"Now if that's not a breeding chocobo I don't know what is!" he joked.

Angeal glared at the young blond but decided he'd deal with him later.

"You can stop, please," Angeal said gently to the young man. He immediately closed his mouth and uncrossed his eyes. He yanked up his pants and stumbled to get to his feet. The kind hearted SOLDIER helped the man up and saw the dark haired lad was obviously close to crying.

"Thank you," the youth said in a low voice before he scurried off. Angeal watched him leave and felt an overwhelming sadness for him, but regards to Rufus, he'd never been so angry in his life at another individual, besides Genesis and Sephiroth.

"Ah, he'll get over it," the blond said. Angeal was about to give him a piece of his mind when the heard a strained sound come from behind him.

"Shouldn't you be heading home, little brother? Or is the fact that daddy can't face fuck you to sleep making you sad and lonely?"

Rufus hissed in rage as his brother limped up the stairs, using the railing for support. At the sight of his boss's injuries, Angeal rushed over and assisted him.

"Are you alright, Lazard? What happened to you?" Angeal asked as he assessed the man's black eye.

"Oh just a little brotherly love," he said sarcastically.

"You might as well get used to your eye hurting, what with all the cum that'll be shot into it," Rufus smirked, to which Lazard returned with one of his own.

"At least I don't chug daddy's wad down my throat as if it were fucking warm milk," he retorted.

"I am not fucking my dad you asshole!" he bellowed.

Angeal watched and listened in disgust as the blonds went back and forth; each insult seemingly more vulgar than the last. This had to be hell, he thought. Angeal didn't even think Genesis's potty mouth could even compete with the Shinra boys. When the comments went from cock sucking to literal shit eating insults, Angeal decided enough was enough.

"STOP IT! Just stop talking! Both of you!" he yelled, his voice deep, loud and threatening. Both blonds stopped their fighting mid insult.

"Leave, Rufus," Angeal said, using his authoritative SOLDIER voice. "You've both said enough filth to each other to last a lifetime."

Rufus made a sound of annoyance with is teeth and crossed his arms. He hated being told what to do but he supposed he'd digress this once. After all, his brother needed time to adjust to his new lifestyle. With that thought in mind, Rufus turned on his heels and started down the stairs.

"Perhaps next time I'll get better service as I was highly unsatisfied with my visit. That means the next time is free, right Angeal?"

"Sure Rufus, whatever." He'd say anything at this point if it meant Rufus would leave sooner.

"I'll be seeing you real soon then, brother."

The older blond sneered. "Incestuous slut."

Angeal sighed.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I feel like my English is bad, but writing helps! I think? pls, comment!


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